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Social Services Resources in New Orleans?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 614407" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh my Cedar, you do not sound "sharp and nasty" at all, you sound exhausted, confused, afraid, weary, angry and sad. All to be expected with what you are dealing with.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I know how hard you've tried, I know how much you've given, I really hear how you have tried everything you know of to help your kids...........but after reading these horror stories now, there is a real pattern here with your kids and really Cedar, they know exactly how to play you and husband and get you to feel sorry for them and keep giving to them over and over. You and husband succumb to the guilt and believe everything they tell you. Like you could see the 'stuff' my daughter pulled on me, I think many of us "out here" not living in the middle of your story, can see that your kids are really expert manipulators. Somehow they always go to you guys not giving them enough, or you get compared to these fictional families where the kids come home and stay forever and the parents happily support them. This is all BS, utter nonsense. For whatever reason you and husband feel as if you didn't live up to some image of good parents and then your kids use that as a weapon to get whatever they want. You are hostages.</p><p></p><p>I think that when people don't work and don't handle their lives responsibly, then EVERYTHING is an emergency. Of course it is, even having to fix a flat tire is an emergency if you don't have $10 to fix it. Emergencies happen because people aren't taking care of their lives. It wouldn't be an emergency if they had jobs, if they didn't use, if they were responsible, if they planned, if they thought anything through. And, if you weren't there to help them, they would figure out another way.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter may need help, however, while you are handing her money and helping her, she is telling you that the family doesn't support her. And she chooses to be with men who beat her when YOU don't give her money? Talk about being held hostage, geez, Cedar, you are STUCK in a nightmare in which your children think nothing of using you for money as they abuse you, tell you you do nothing for them and then blame you for the beating they took because you didn't get the money to her fast enough. </p><p></p><p>Cedar, get yourself to a therapist or someone outside of the family who can give you a reality check as soon as you possibly can and don't give any more money to your kids. </p><p></p><p>And, before your sister shows up, get in touch with her and tell her this is not a good time for YOU and you cannot host her. Don't wait until she shows up at your door with another bag of blame for you, be proactive and set a boundary for yourself.</p><p></p><p>I am angry for you Cedar, angry at all of these ingrates around you hurting you, blaming you, bleeding you dry, abusing you, never getting enough out of you and having the nerve to recite their definitions of what a real family does for their children. Get mad Cedar. Get really, really mad because this situation has reached epic proportions and you and husband need to stand up and scream a resounding NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.</p><p></p><p>In trying so hard not to be our parents, perhaps we swung too much to the other extreme. I did. And, you don't have to be like your parents, you couldn't do that, but clearly, boundaries and NO's need to be established because it has all come to a head now, it is time to put a stop to it.</p><p></p><p>I am so so sorry you are going through this, I do know how hard it is, I can empathize. I had to face the same realities with my daughter too. She never wanted help,she only wanted money and when I stopped giving her money, she found another way. Stop it Cedar. The stakes are so high because sometimes it takes a nightmare to wake us up from our own denial. It is loud and ugly now, so take stock of the situation, see the truth, don't take on any of the blame, <em><u><strong>you didn't do anything wrong.</strong></u></em> Your kids are middle aged adults who need to grow up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 614407, member: 13542"] Oh my Cedar, you do not sound "sharp and nasty" at all, you sound exhausted, confused, afraid, weary, angry and sad. All to be expected with what you are dealing with. Cedar, I know how hard you've tried, I know how much you've given, I really hear how you have tried everything you know of to help your kids...........but after reading these horror stories now, there is a real pattern here with your kids and really Cedar, they know exactly how to play you and husband and get you to feel sorry for them and keep giving to them over and over. You and husband succumb to the guilt and believe everything they tell you. Like you could see the 'stuff' my daughter pulled on me, I think many of us "out here" not living in the middle of your story, can see that your kids are really expert manipulators. Somehow they always go to you guys not giving them enough, or you get compared to these fictional families where the kids come home and stay forever and the parents happily support them. This is all BS, utter nonsense. For whatever reason you and husband feel as if you didn't live up to some image of good parents and then your kids use that as a weapon to get whatever they want. You are hostages. I think that when people don't work and don't handle their lives responsibly, then EVERYTHING is an emergency. Of course it is, even having to fix a flat tire is an emergency if you don't have $10 to fix it. Emergencies happen because people aren't taking care of their lives. It wouldn't be an emergency if they had jobs, if they didn't use, if they were responsible, if they planned, if they thought anything through. And, if you weren't there to help them, they would figure out another way. Your daughter may need help, however, while you are handing her money and helping her, she is telling you that the family doesn't support her. And she chooses to be with men who beat her when YOU don't give her money? Talk about being held hostage, geez, Cedar, you are STUCK in a nightmare in which your children think nothing of using you for money as they abuse you, tell you you do nothing for them and then blame you for the beating they took because you didn't get the money to her fast enough. Cedar, get yourself to a therapist or someone outside of the family who can give you a reality check as soon as you possibly can and don't give any more money to your kids. And, before your sister shows up, get in touch with her and tell her this is not a good time for YOU and you cannot host her. Don't wait until she shows up at your door with another bag of blame for you, be proactive and set a boundary for yourself. I am angry for you Cedar, angry at all of these ingrates around you hurting you, blaming you, bleeding you dry, abusing you, never getting enough out of you and having the nerve to recite their definitions of what a real family does for their children. Get mad Cedar. Get really, really mad because this situation has reached epic proportions and you and husband need to stand up and scream a resounding NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. In trying so hard not to be our parents, perhaps we swung too much to the other extreme. I did. And, you don't have to be like your parents, you couldn't do that, but clearly, boundaries and NO's need to be established because it has all come to a head now, it is time to put a stop to it. I am so so sorry you are going through this, I do know how hard it is, I can empathize. I had to face the same realities with my daughter too. She never wanted help,she only wanted money and when I stopped giving her money, she found another way. Stop it Cedar. The stakes are so high because sometimes it takes a nightmare to wake us up from our own denial. It is loud and ugly now, so take stock of the situation, see the truth, don't take on any of the blame, [I][U][B]you didn't do anything wrong.[/B][/U][/I] Your kids are middle aged adults who need to grow up. [/QUOTE]
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