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Social Services Resources in New Orleans?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 614866" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am glad to hear you are feeling less burdened. That is something I continue to feel, as if anvils are being removed from my shoulders and small sharp objects from my heart. I am physically way less stressed and emotionally calmer. </p><p></p><p>I know that discomfort you feel. It's not only that you stepped back, out of the usual reality, but in not taking the tried and true road, where do you go? There is a void kind of space that I recall, I think I wrote about it here once, it's tough to spend time in the Great Unknown, not knowing how to act, what to say, how to be.............so there is discomfort in not having that control. For me, that was a vulnerable place to be. ................</p><p></p><p>What I'm finding now, more with my granddaughter because she is here all the time, is that if I do not assume responsibility for her, or step in in any way (to help), there is a period of discomfort because the familiar is so strong, but in staying in that empty space, other options present themselves, usually not from me. Other ideas, other people, other support seems to find a way in.........keeping me out of the primary responsible role. With my daughter, the reigns had to be completely passed to her, but with my granddaughter being so young, but being at an age where she needs to start taking some of the reigns, it's a continuing practice for me to LET GO. I'm really happy I got to this stage of my own healing so I could be present for my granddaughter in a way which will empower her and give her the responsibility that is appropriate and necessary for her own growth.</p><p></p><p>For me, I think part of this process has enabled me to respond to a lot of life in a more quiet way, without striving for an outcome or saving anyone, being more comfortable in 'not knowing,' a little better at staying in the present moment and being grateful. I'm less attached to the way I think things "should" be............the entire process of detachment (from our difficult child's) leads to acceptance in a very personal, profound way..........and I'm finding that that acceptance is emerging in many other areas............and that acceptance creates more relaxation and peace which then promotes more health.</p><p></p><p>I have moments of feeling sad, or melancholy about all of what we deal with here, but thankfully, so gratefully, they are fleeting, they pass quickly. I am spending less and less time in those sticky places we parents of difficult child's know oh so well. It's easier to<u> choose to be</u> happy. </p><p></p><p>Having said all of that, I DID have a lot of support in the last couple of years......a lot of professional help........from all different angles, which I believe is necessary and makes the process of detachment ........shorter anyway, I'm not sure it's easier, but it had a sense of completion and healing to it.</p><p></p><p>Do you feel these kinds of things as you walk through your own detachment process? What are you learning?</p><p></p><p>There is an absence of an internal kind of angst which has been present even before my daughter and her shenanigans.............fear............seems to be diminished quite a bit.</p><p></p><p>There seems to be a turning point, some moment where there is a sort of emotional reversal, which as I write that, perhaps it may be that the internal focus shifts to oneself as opposed to our difficult child, or in fact, anyone else. And, I think that shift is when we can stop enabling, stop suffering......... and start really living our own lives.............at least that's what I'm thinking today...........maybe there are more changes coming..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 614866, member: 13542"] I am glad to hear you are feeling less burdened. That is something I continue to feel, as if anvils are being removed from my shoulders and small sharp objects from my heart. I am physically way less stressed and emotionally calmer. I know that discomfort you feel. It's not only that you stepped back, out of the usual reality, but in not taking the tried and true road, where do you go? There is a void kind of space that I recall, I think I wrote about it here once, it's tough to spend time in the Great Unknown, not knowing how to act, what to say, how to be.............so there is discomfort in not having that control. For me, that was a vulnerable place to be. ................ What I'm finding now, more with my granddaughter because she is here all the time, is that if I do not assume responsibility for her, or step in in any way (to help), there is a period of discomfort because the familiar is so strong, but in staying in that empty space, other options present themselves, usually not from me. Other ideas, other people, other support seems to find a way in.........keeping me out of the primary responsible role. With my daughter, the reigns had to be completely passed to her, but with my granddaughter being so young, but being at an age where she needs to start taking some of the reigns, it's a continuing practice for me to LET GO. I'm really happy I got to this stage of my own healing so I could be present for my granddaughter in a way which will empower her and give her the responsibility that is appropriate and necessary for her own growth. For me, I think part of this process has enabled me to respond to a lot of life in a more quiet way, without striving for an outcome or saving anyone, being more comfortable in 'not knowing,' a little better at staying in the present moment and being grateful. I'm less attached to the way I think things "should" be............the entire process of detachment (from our difficult child's) leads to acceptance in a very personal, profound way..........and I'm finding that that acceptance is emerging in many other areas............and that acceptance creates more relaxation and peace which then promotes more health. I have moments of feeling sad, or melancholy about all of what we deal with here, but thankfully, so gratefully, they are fleeting, they pass quickly. I am spending less and less time in those sticky places we parents of difficult child's know oh so well. It's easier to[U] choose to be[/U] happy. Having said all of that, I DID have a lot of support in the last couple of years......a lot of professional help........from all different angles, which I believe is necessary and makes the process of detachment ........shorter anyway, I'm not sure it's easier, but it had a sense of completion and healing to it. Do you feel these kinds of things as you walk through your own detachment process? What are you learning? There is an absence of an internal kind of angst which has been present even before my daughter and her shenanigans.............fear............seems to be diminished quite a bit. There seems to be a turning point, some moment where there is a sort of emotional reversal, which as I write that, perhaps it may be that the internal focus shifts to oneself as opposed to our difficult child, or in fact, anyone else. And, I think that shift is when we can stop enabling, stop suffering......... and start really living our own lives.............at least that's what I'm thinking today...........maybe there are more changes coming.......... [/QUOTE]
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