Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Social Services Resources in New Orleans?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 615006" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Oh, wow! Brene Brown, Janet? Thank you! We could all take it and then, discuss our growth and observations, here. Unless I see a post from another of us, I will begin a post on it, once the classes have started.</p><p></p><p>Her writings and seminars have been so helpful to me.</p><p></p><p>**********************</p><p></p><p>Recovering, you cannot know what it means to me to have you (and you too, Janet) leave posts for me. It is like touching a me that was someone finer, more decent, than I feel, right now. We are good Recovering, but this has been so crazily hard. </p><p></p><p>We are not hearing from difficult child son, at all. FB him to learn whether still at same address so I could send kids Christmas $ (which has to be cash). No response. Good, I say. More money for me.</p><p></p><p>Not hearing from my sister or my family in any way. when I am feeling less pressured, I will think about that. As husband says, there was never anything there, anyway.</p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter: I FB her with a really nasty (for me) confrontational, don't-mess-with-someone-who-is-loyal-to-you, how dare you do this to me message after the night spent with the bad man from last summer. She FB back with all kinds of horrible things from her childhood (husband too chintzy to pay for ballet classes without putting up a stink about the money and the pressure that put on her and etc. More info on why both she and difficult child son have a "poverty" mindset ~ again, husband's cheapness and both of our refusal to welcome anyone who needs somewhere to live to come live with us. Just as an aside? Both kids HAVE lived with us as adults. Another fine idea both have discussed is that we should have bought difficult child son a duplex while he was in the throes of his addiction. That way, no one would have to worry about him, as he could rent the other half out.</p><p></p><p>Intellectually, I understand that difficult child son and daughter cannot face what has happened without rationalizing that it was their childhood that is responsible for their positions in life, now. But in my heart, it is hard to remember that.</p><p></p><p>And while I should be able to maintain in the face of all that...I could not. I had to go through this whole thing of finding rebuttals for each of those accusations. I feel like a baby whining about this stuff, but it was so hurtful. Too ridiculous to post about, it seemed. There was more stuff there about how we had been too cheap, too uncaring, to pay for college and that is why they had to struggle so hard. And I think they might be right on that one. By the time anybody was ready to go to school, we had both stopped working and gone on to other things. (Though difficult child son did live at home until he flunked out ~ but that was as an adult, and we required him to take out a student loan. difficult child daughter went to school for years and years. I know we took the kids for her a couple of times...she must not have lived with us? Who knows.)</p><p></p><p>Whatever. I am whining. There just isn't anyone to talk about this stuff with. It takes awhile to come back into balance. difficult child daughter's brain injury has affected her judgment, so I am hearing her take on how and why everything is as it is.</p><p></p><p>Final cut was that, instead of helping our children, we bought the lake house and then, built this one.</p><p></p><p>So we could enjoy our luxurious lives while our children are poor because we were such crummy parents.</p><p></p><p>I know better than to take it seriously. I feel like I am "telling" on someone who bullied me.</p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter called me a liar, and accused me of telling people (her ex husband, her daughters) things that aren't true to get pity votes.</p><p></p><p>So, blah, blah, blah. </p><p></p><p>Neighbor continues his involvement with difficult child via phone and internet. Seemed harmless while she was up North with father of her second child. Not feeling so comfy about it, now.</p><p></p><p>Good news is that she may choose shelter in Northern state over coming here.</p><p></p><p>I know you all will understand what this is like. Still, it so sucks to go through it.</p><p></p><p>I thought of you Recovering, when you told me reactions of this type are the norm.</p><p></p><p>That was helpful.</p><p></p><p>husband and I seem to be patching things up, except for me.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Ew. I keep thinking about that pity vote thing. There is a saying, though. Something about being ashamed of acknowledging the pain and yet, at the extreme, of standing up and refusing to not acknowledge it.</p><p></p><p>Yep.</p><p></p><p>Pity bid.</p><p></p><p>"Heartsick and mad, Pitt shouted at the open sky." Clive Cussler</p><p></p><p>That's me. And right after that? Dirk Pitt went out and did something heroic and impossible without batting an eye.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 615006, member: 17461"] Oh, wow! Brene Brown, Janet? Thank you! We could all take it and then, discuss our growth and observations, here. Unless I see a post from another of us, I will begin a post on it, once the classes have started. Her writings and seminars have been so helpful to me. ********************** Recovering, you cannot know what it means to me to have you (and you too, Janet) leave posts for me. It is like touching a me that was someone finer, more decent, than I feel, right now. We are good Recovering, but this has been so crazily hard. We are not hearing from difficult child son, at all. FB him to learn whether still at same address so I could send kids Christmas $ (which has to be cash). No response. Good, I say. More money for me. Not hearing from my sister or my family in any way. when I am feeling less pressured, I will think about that. As husband says, there was never anything there, anyway. difficult child daughter: I FB her with a really nasty (for me) confrontational, don't-mess-with-someone-who-is-loyal-to-you, how dare you do this to me message after the night spent with the bad man from last summer. She FB back with all kinds of horrible things from her childhood (husband too chintzy to pay for ballet classes without putting up a stink about the money and the pressure that put on her and etc. More info on why both she and difficult child son have a "poverty" mindset ~ again, husband's cheapness and both of our refusal to welcome anyone who needs somewhere to live to come live with us. Just as an aside? Both kids HAVE lived with us as adults. Another fine idea both have discussed is that we should have bought difficult child son a duplex while he was in the throes of his addiction. That way, no one would have to worry about him, as he could rent the other half out. Intellectually, I understand that difficult child son and daughter cannot face what has happened without rationalizing that it was their childhood that is responsible for their positions in life, now. But in my heart, it is hard to remember that. And while I should be able to maintain in the face of all that...I could not. I had to go through this whole thing of finding rebuttals for each of those accusations. I feel like a baby whining about this stuff, but it was so hurtful. Too ridiculous to post about, it seemed. There was more stuff there about how we had been too cheap, too uncaring, to pay for college and that is why they had to struggle so hard. And I think they might be right on that one. By the time anybody was ready to go to school, we had both stopped working and gone on to other things. (Though difficult child son did live at home until he flunked out ~ but that was as an adult, and we required him to take out a student loan. difficult child daughter went to school for years and years. I know we took the kids for her a couple of times...she must not have lived with us? Who knows.) Whatever. I am whining. There just isn't anyone to talk about this stuff with. It takes awhile to come back into balance. difficult child daughter's brain injury has affected her judgment, so I am hearing her take on how and why everything is as it is. Final cut was that, instead of helping our children, we bought the lake house and then, built this one. So we could enjoy our luxurious lives while our children are poor because we were such crummy parents. I know better than to take it seriously. I feel like I am "telling" on someone who bullied me. difficult child daughter called me a liar, and accused me of telling people (her ex husband, her daughters) things that aren't true to get pity votes. So, blah, blah, blah. Neighbor continues his involvement with difficult child via phone and internet. Seemed harmless while she was up North with father of her second child. Not feeling so comfy about it, now. Good news is that she may choose shelter in Northern state over coming here. I know you all will understand what this is like. Still, it so sucks to go through it. I thought of you Recovering, when you told me reactions of this type are the norm. That was helpful. husband and I seem to be patching things up, except for me. :O) Cedar Ew. I keep thinking about that pity vote thing. There is a saying, though. Something about being ashamed of acknowledging the pain and yet, at the extreme, of standing up and refusing to not acknowledge it. Yep. Pity bid. "Heartsick and mad, Pitt shouted at the open sky." Clive Cussler That's me. And right after that? Dirk Pitt went out and did something heroic and impossible without batting an eye. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Social Services Resources in New Orleans?
Top