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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 634267" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree. But have they ever seen a psychiatrist or a mental health professional? That's where the help has to come from.</p><p></p><p>My son has 50/50 custody of his son and makes sure he has rights. He won the custody battle (ex wanted 100% custody even though she ran off with another man) and my son will go to court if she tries to violate the parenting plan. She knows this, but tries to push the buttons anyway. It doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>He would never allow his ex to have his child all the time. I am not quite sure what you mean by full custody (there actually is no such thing unless she lost her rights to see the chldren, which obviously isn't true.) You don't call DCFS. They are not part of divorce court. You take the ex to court with a lawyer. That's the proper way to get your rights. The police are not a part of the legal part of custody either. They can't change anything. A Judge can. Nobody else. That's where you should be looking and your husband would get treated fairly unless there is reason for him not to.</p><p></p><p>I am guessing he may have legal custody, but mom has residential and primary custody. 50/50 means you get your child half the time. My son sees his son half of the days of the year and has joint legal and physical custody. I went through his entire nightmarish custody battle with him and learned a lot about custody and the law.</p><p></p><p>If your husband really has primary custody, and it doesn't sound like it, then he gets to decide about the girl's medical care and it sounds like both of them need help. And it sounds like there is perhaps some denial on where the issues with the girls are going. If she had a boyfriend for a year...you think she didn't have some sort of sexual relationship with him which was not appropriate for her age? She hangs with goths, but you don't think she may be involved in drinking and drugs?</p><p></p><p>We are long time parents here (some of us) and our kids fooled us once, but they can't fool us again. We are here trying to help those who are just beginning by sharing what we have learned. I can promise you more is going on with at least the oldest girl than just a sudden big change in personality and preference. Something you don't know about. It is not her mother's fault.Or their fathers, unless you are hiding something. And it's not your fault. And since I don't know if the girls saw father leave and if you were in the picture and THEN things got worse, it is hard to judge what is going on. I do think drugs and sex could be going on. I strongly suspect it. And I KNOW that the only way to help the girls is to get them to a psychiatrist. Pronto. You can't do it yourself. None of us did.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. I hope you can straighten this out and find out what is causing this with the help of a well-educated professional who specializes in teenagers. A third party is knowledgeable about teens (especially psychiatrists) and is not emotionally involved in your issues so he/she can see things more clearly than you (or any of us). You are too emotionally involved with your husband to see this situation straight (most of us are too emotionally involved to see things straight). Your husband is too devestated. That's why you need a third party with mental health credentials. That does not mean the police. They can't help you treat what is going on with these children.</p><p></p><p>I hope you choose to go that route. It's the only way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 634267, member: 1550"] I agree. But have they ever seen a psychiatrist or a mental health professional? That's where the help has to come from. My son has 50/50 custody of his son and makes sure he has rights. He won the custody battle (ex wanted 100% custody even though she ran off with another man) and my son will go to court if she tries to violate the parenting plan. She knows this, but tries to push the buttons anyway. It doesn't work. He would never allow his ex to have his child all the time. I am not quite sure what you mean by full custody (there actually is no such thing unless she lost her rights to see the chldren, which obviously isn't true.) You don't call DCFS. They are not part of divorce court. You take the ex to court with a lawyer. That's the proper way to get your rights. The police are not a part of the legal part of custody either. They can't change anything. A Judge can. Nobody else. That's where you should be looking and your husband would get treated fairly unless there is reason for him not to. I am guessing he may have legal custody, but mom has residential and primary custody. 50/50 means you get your child half the time. My son sees his son half of the days of the year and has joint legal and physical custody. I went through his entire nightmarish custody battle with him and learned a lot about custody and the law. If your husband really has primary custody, and it doesn't sound like it, then he gets to decide about the girl's medical care and it sounds like both of them need help. And it sounds like there is perhaps some denial on where the issues with the girls are going. If she had a boyfriend for a year...you think she didn't have some sort of sexual relationship with him which was not appropriate for her age? She hangs with goths, but you don't think she may be involved in drinking and drugs? We are long time parents here (some of us) and our kids fooled us once, but they can't fool us again. We are here trying to help those who are just beginning by sharing what we have learned. I can promise you more is going on with at least the oldest girl than just a sudden big change in personality and preference. Something you don't know about. It is not her mother's fault.Or their fathers, unless you are hiding something. And it's not your fault. And since I don't know if the girls saw father leave and if you were in the picture and THEN things got worse, it is hard to judge what is going on. I do think drugs and sex could be going on. I strongly suspect it. And I KNOW that the only way to help the girls is to get them to a psychiatrist. Pronto. You can't do it yourself. None of us did. Good luck. I hope you can straighten this out and find out what is causing this with the help of a well-educated professional who specializes in teenagers. A third party is knowledgeable about teens (especially psychiatrists) and is not emotionally involved in your issues so he/she can see things more clearly than you (or any of us). You are too emotionally involved with your husband to see this situation straight (most of us are too emotionally involved to see things straight). Your husband is too devestated. That's why you need a third party with mental health credentials. That does not mean the police. They can't help you treat what is going on with these children. I hope you choose to go that route. It's the only way. [/QUOTE]
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