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Parent Emeritus
Some observations about difficult child. Not sure what to do with them, or nothing at all
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 542069" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Just my take on it... but... unless whatever he is doing has direct personal ramifications to YOU, I wouldn't be bringing it up. Not picking up laundry? Chewing with his mouth open? Interrupting when you are in a conversation? If you're talking about those kinds of things, then you have an "I" leg to stand on. It annoys YOU no end, and probably annoys others - but what matters is it annoys YOU. Why? Because then you can take the "I" position. "I have difficulty enjoying my supper when someone at the table is chewing with their mouth open. To me, it is totally unappetizing, and takes away my enjoyment of the meal. Is there some way we can work on this together?" Notice... the presentation is that YOU have a problem and you need HIS help to fix it (rather than fixing "him").</p><p></p><p>And even then... pick the ONE thing that annoys you the most. Only work on one thing at a time. You might only get to address 2 or 3 over the holiday... but there is always next year, because the issues aren't just going to melt away overnight.</p><p></p><p>All the other stuff... is between him, his coach, and any other professionals in his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 542069, member: 11791"] Just my take on it... but... unless whatever he is doing has direct personal ramifications to YOU, I wouldn't be bringing it up. Not picking up laundry? Chewing with his mouth open? Interrupting when you are in a conversation? If you're talking about those kinds of things, then you have an "I" leg to stand on. It annoys YOU no end, and probably annoys others - but what matters is it annoys YOU. Why? Because then you can take the "I" position. "I have difficulty enjoying my supper when someone at the table is chewing with their mouth open. To me, it is totally unappetizing, and takes away my enjoyment of the meal. Is there some way we can work on this together?" Notice... the presentation is that YOU have a problem and you need HIS help to fix it (rather than fixing "him"). And even then... pick the ONE thing that annoys you the most. Only work on one thing at a time. You might only get to address 2 or 3 over the holiday... but there is always next year, because the issues aren't just going to melt away overnight. All the other stuff... is between him, his coach, and any other professionals in his life. [/QUOTE]
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Some observations about difficult child. Not sure what to do with them, or nothing at all
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