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Parent Emeritus
Some Thoughts Gained from Insights Wk 3 update
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 388210"><p>From your previous posts I have been wondering if Katie, herself is realizing that M is not what she wants or who she wants to be with. She may feel pretty stuck, given the kids and lack of money etc. She may also be pretty scared at the prospect of being a single parent and doing it all alone, even though in essense that is what she has been doing. But from what you have said I have to wonder if she is already questioning the viability of her relationship with M.</p><p></p><p>So these are my thoughts. You want to be as supportive and loving to her as possible without of course enabling a bad situation or taking it all on yourself. You can't do that.. I think you want to try and encourage her own questioning and thinking about her future with M. I think sitting down for a heart to heart may be a mistake because if she sees you as trying to tell her what to do, to leave him, it may make her feel unsupported and feel more stuck and defensive.</p><p></p><p>instead I would definitely let her know the ways you are proud of her and then inject questions but one at a time here and there, not all at once. So something like, "wow I am really proud of the mother you have become....it must be really hard when your partner does not really co parent with you."..... Of "how do you manage to do all that you do with the stresses you are under. Doeos M help out at all? Try and bring up the questions but don't give judgements and don't tell her what to do.</p><p></p><p>I hope this helps...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 388210"] From your previous posts I have been wondering if Katie, herself is realizing that M is not what she wants or who she wants to be with. She may feel pretty stuck, given the kids and lack of money etc. She may also be pretty scared at the prospect of being a single parent and doing it all alone, even though in essense that is what she has been doing. But from what you have said I have to wonder if she is already questioning the viability of her relationship with M. So these are my thoughts. You want to be as supportive and loving to her as possible without of course enabling a bad situation or taking it all on yourself. You can't do that.. I think you want to try and encourage her own questioning and thinking about her future with M. I think sitting down for a heart to heart may be a mistake because if she sees you as trying to tell her what to do, to leave him, it may make her feel unsupported and feel more stuck and defensive. instead I would definitely let her know the ways you are proud of her and then inject questions but one at a time here and there, not all at once. So something like, "wow I am really proud of the mother you have become....it must be really hard when your partner does not really co parent with you."..... Of "how do you manage to do all that you do with the stresses you are under. Doeos M help out at all? Try and bring up the questions but don't give judgements and don't tell her what to do. I hope this helps... [/QUOTE]
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Some Thoughts Gained from Insights Wk 3 update
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