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Some Thoughts Gained from Insights Wk 3 update
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 388658" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>They are legally married, she has the paperwork. (sorry can't think of the word at the moment)</p><p></p><p>Yes, driving him out to the country and dropping him off is very tempting.........I've had the same thought over the past weeks..........and that's bad since I'd never think to do that to a pet. lol </p><p></p><p>M has a past history of being physically abusive to katie and her biomom........and due to one particular phone call while talking to kayla........I suspect the kids as well. Is he now? I have nothing short of the threats to "whip off his belt" that one night katie was at the ER to indicate anything. I was just daring him to, the cops would've been here in order to get me off him as much as to arrest him. lol </p><p></p><p>The only thing I can say per domestic violence..............Katie has that victim stance and look about her.......and it's really hard to describe with words but anyone who has ever been a victim of abuse recognizes it in another person immediately. It's like they're trying to fade into the background trying hard not to be noticed sort of thing........body language, facial expression. I know that M has all of Katie's friends in Mo believing his tough guy routine.......or did back when.</p><p></p><p>This is going to sound strange maybe, I dunno, but I'm hoping when their money runs out there is enough room in the d/v shelter that katie can take the kids there and "fib" to get in. (my gut tells me it won't be a fib, but I have no proof) Because when they come to me and say they have no where else to go, that's the first place I'm going to have her try. Bit of deviousness on my part because I think she could greatly benefit from the group therapy meetings on a abuse they are required to attend. She was working their program the last time she was here.........and dropped out after Alex was born.</p><p></p><p>And yeah Susie those are things I've been thinking and worrying about. Dumping him isn't going to be easy just because of the meal ticket thing.......but because she does just about everything for him due to the illiteracy............. And I get frustrated because already Kayla sees no reason to learn to read / spell because in her child's eyes Daddy can't and he's a grown up. Frustrating. We've already (the entire family) begun coaching her on how important doing well in school is, going to college, working hard for what you want in life.........because she has no clue (not kidding) of how it's done.</p><p></p><p>Since I haven't been asked if they can stay here I'm assuming they've paid yet another week's rent. That's 3 wks. Not bad. Katie must have gotten back into control of at least most of the cash.</p><p></p><p>I do have to be careful how I approach M's parenting though. Katie's main defense of the guy is that he's a great Dad to the kids and that he loves them so much. ugh Actually, it's the only defense she's made in his favor.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> I don't doubt he loves them, that isn't the issue. But there is no parenting going on unless it is to back katie up occasionally.</p><p></p><p>I haven't seen her since thurs. Which means nothing has been done since then either. At the rate of these migraines...........they're never going to find work because she can never get out to apply.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> And while I do very much understand the pain levels involved..........sometimes you've just got to svck it up already and do what you gotta do. I mean geez, I took care of 2 babies post op with a metal stint in my ureter and pain levels through the roof even with morphine when I was supposed to be on bedrest in the hospital because the wrong movement could cause it to puncture the ureter it was helping to heal. Sometimes life doesn't give you the option to take it easy when you're sick. Because at this rate, they're never going to find work or anything else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 388658, member: 84"] They are legally married, she has the paperwork. (sorry can't think of the word at the moment) Yes, driving him out to the country and dropping him off is very tempting.........I've had the same thought over the past weeks..........and that's bad since I'd never think to do that to a pet. lol M has a past history of being physically abusive to katie and her biomom........and due to one particular phone call while talking to kayla........I suspect the kids as well. Is he now? I have nothing short of the threats to "whip off his belt" that one night katie was at the ER to indicate anything. I was just daring him to, the cops would've been here in order to get me off him as much as to arrest him. lol The only thing I can say per domestic violence..............Katie has that victim stance and look about her.......and it's really hard to describe with words but anyone who has ever been a victim of abuse recognizes it in another person immediately. It's like they're trying to fade into the background trying hard not to be noticed sort of thing........body language, facial expression. I know that M has all of Katie's friends in Mo believing his tough guy routine.......or did back when. This is going to sound strange maybe, I dunno, but I'm hoping when their money runs out there is enough room in the d/v shelter that katie can take the kids there and "fib" to get in. (my gut tells me it won't be a fib, but I have no proof) Because when they come to me and say they have no where else to go, that's the first place I'm going to have her try. Bit of deviousness on my part because I think she could greatly benefit from the group therapy meetings on a abuse they are required to attend. She was working their program the last time she was here.........and dropped out after Alex was born. And yeah Susie those are things I've been thinking and worrying about. Dumping him isn't going to be easy just because of the meal ticket thing.......but because she does just about everything for him due to the illiteracy............. And I get frustrated because already Kayla sees no reason to learn to read / spell because in her child's eyes Daddy can't and he's a grown up. Frustrating. We've already (the entire family) begun coaching her on how important doing well in school is, going to college, working hard for what you want in life.........because she has no clue (not kidding) of how it's done. Since I haven't been asked if they can stay here I'm assuming they've paid yet another week's rent. That's 3 wks. Not bad. Katie must have gotten back into control of at least most of the cash. I do have to be careful how I approach M's parenting though. Katie's main defense of the guy is that he's a great Dad to the kids and that he loves them so much. ugh Actually, it's the only defense she's made in his favor.:raspberry-tounge: I don't doubt he loves them, that isn't the issue. But there is no parenting going on unless it is to back katie up occasionally. I haven't seen her since thurs. Which means nothing has been done since then either. At the rate of these migraines...........they're never going to find work because she can never get out to apply.:angry: And while I do very much understand the pain levels involved..........sometimes you've just got to svck it up already and do what you gotta do. I mean geez, I took care of 2 babies post op with a metal stint in my ureter and pain levels through the roof even with morphine when I was supposed to be on bedrest in the hospital because the wrong movement could cause it to puncture the ureter it was helping to heal. Sometimes life doesn't give you the option to take it easy when you're sick. Because at this rate, they're never going to find work or anything else. [/QUOTE]
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Some Thoughts Gained from Insights Wk 3 update
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