Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Some thoughts
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740199" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is a beautiful thread.</p><p></p><p>I am seeing several different threads of thought and each of them is helpful to me.</p><p></p><p>Our own magical thinking: We continue to think there must be something that we can do. We have just turned the coin over but it is the same coin.</p><p></p><p>Our love for them, and manifesting it, just because, without the idea of control: </p><p></p><p> Yes.</p><p>The idea that we know what to do, if we stay located in ourselves. That there is an inner knowing, if we can just not flip out, and panic, and jump into them. We know this, because we lived this for so many years before: </p><p></p><p> How beautiful is this? Very, very.</p><p></p><p>This is crucial. Drawing a line. Quickly and firmly. (Oh, why has this been so hard for me? I am only learning this. That I am a factor in this. I always operated from this: What can I do to have an effect on him? If I do ___, ___, and ___ it may motivate (or force) him to do what I know is right. Instead, he manipulated me, and my intervention had the opposite effect than what I intended.</p><p></p><p>What you all on this thread are talking about, TL, and Nature and others, is having your center of gravity in YOU. How is this behavior, this chaos, this environment, this relationship affecting me, and what do I need to turn this around? For me.</p><p></p><p>And this may or may not have a positive effect for our child, but that is not the primary consideration, or really, a consideration at all.</p><p></p><p>It is like the support and the love come from a different place than the limit setting. OK. I see the fallacy of that. They come from the same place, inside of us, but they are independent of a result. They are unconditional. They are not tied to results we seek to get from them.</p><p></p><p>And what you are saying, as I read your comments, is that by staying in yourself, feeling your sense of self, having the weight and power in you, being directed by your own well-being, your own love, your own values and power, you are free to love. And that your love is good. Can never be bad. Can never be enabling. No matter what anybody says.</p><p></p><p>I love this thread.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740199, member: 18958"] This is a beautiful thread. I am seeing several different threads of thought and each of them is helpful to me. Our own magical thinking: We continue to think there must be something that we can do. We have just turned the coin over but it is the same coin. Our love for them, and manifesting it, just because, without the idea of control: Yes. The idea that we know what to do, if we stay located in ourselves. That there is an inner knowing, if we can just not flip out, and panic, and jump into them. We know this, because we lived this for so many years before: How beautiful is this? Very, very. This is crucial. Drawing a line. Quickly and firmly. (Oh, why has this been so hard for me? I am only learning this. That I am a factor in this. I always operated from this: What can I do to have an effect on him? If I do ___, ___, and ___ it may motivate (or force) him to do what I know is right. Instead, he manipulated me, and my intervention had the opposite effect than what I intended. What you all on this thread are talking about, TL, and Nature and others, is having your center of gravity in YOU. How is this behavior, this chaos, this environment, this relationship affecting me, and what do I need to turn this around? For me. And this may or may not have a positive effect for our child, but that is not the primary consideration, or really, a consideration at all. It is like the support and the love come from a different place than the limit setting. OK. I see the fallacy of that. They come from the same place, inside of us, but they are independent of a result. They are unconditional. They are not tied to results we seek to get from them. And what you are saying, as I read your comments, is that by staying in yourself, feeling your sense of self, having the weight and power in you, being directed by your own well-being, your own love, your own values and power, you are free to love. And that your love is good. Can never be bad. Can never be enabling. No matter what anybody says. I love this thread. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Some thoughts
Top