Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
somebody just shoot me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 409508" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Maybe it is time to make the account one that requires both your and her signatures instead of just one of them? If she is giving all her $$ away and is not aware of it then it IS time to take some kind of action to prevent this. Esp if your children are taking advantage of her. It is one thing to respect her right to do as she wishes with her possessions and another to let her put herself in the poorhouse with her generosity. ESPECIALLY if the generosity is something she doesn't even remember doing. </p><p></p><p>What may come next is that she finds she is destitute and starts to blame you for stealing or wasting her money. I have seen relatives do this - they truly do not remember giving or spending the money, have nothing to show for it, are scared and confused and then accuse whomever is helping them of stealing. If she is taken in by your youngest child or another relative and this person convinces her that you have stolen her money, she could turn control over to them and come after YOU for the missing/wasted money. A friend of our family had their son and daughter in law manipulate one of the grandparents this way - and the parents were sued for a large sum of money, plus damages and penalties for emotional stress. The money had been given to the son and daughter in law but the judge still held the parent of the elder accountable because they 'should' have seen she was being taken advantage of. (I hope that was clear)</p><p> </p><p>I also know that husband's great gma got most of a city in a land grant - her name is a big one here in OK. She was very very wealthy because her property was very desirable. The family did not intervene when she showed signs of problems and seh died totally destitute and homeless. She gave it away to anyone who asked and didn't realize that she was giving ALL of it away until it was gone. It seems to run in his family as his mother has made many similarly awful financial decisions that have let acquaintances profit into almost the $100,000 range. She is still working at almost 80 because she has given so much away. We cannot interfere as she doesn't even speak to us (who knows why - literally she has given no reason except that she already had a grandchild when Wiz was born - she is nuts) but husband's sister has put many limits on her assets after the last debacle.</p><p> </p><p>First discuss this with her. See if she is willing to have you either give her an amount of cash to have on hand and no checks/debit cards/credit cards. Or see if she will allow you to change the account to "and" instead of "or" (the names would read Mrs Muttmeister and Mrs Muttmeister's Mother) so that you both have to approve every check. If the family cannot convince her of this you may NEED to take legal steps to protect her. Allowing her to give her money to your children to the point that she is destitute is not good for her or anyone else. </p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry that this is an issue. Will the bank agree to notify you if she orders checks, etc....?? Of course you kids could "help" her order them from walmart or wherever and the bank would never know. That is why the "and" is a good option.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 409508, member: 1233"] Maybe it is time to make the account one that requires both your and her signatures instead of just one of them? If she is giving all her $$ away and is not aware of it then it IS time to take some kind of action to prevent this. Esp if your children are taking advantage of her. It is one thing to respect her right to do as she wishes with her possessions and another to let her put herself in the poorhouse with her generosity. ESPECIALLY if the generosity is something she doesn't even remember doing. What may come next is that she finds she is destitute and starts to blame you for stealing or wasting her money. I have seen relatives do this - they truly do not remember giving or spending the money, have nothing to show for it, are scared and confused and then accuse whomever is helping them of stealing. If she is taken in by your youngest child or another relative and this person convinces her that you have stolen her money, she could turn control over to them and come after YOU for the missing/wasted money. A friend of our family had their son and daughter in law manipulate one of the grandparents this way - and the parents were sued for a large sum of money, plus damages and penalties for emotional stress. The money had been given to the son and daughter in law but the judge still held the parent of the elder accountable because they 'should' have seen she was being taken advantage of. (I hope that was clear) I also know that husband's great gma got most of a city in a land grant - her name is a big one here in OK. She was very very wealthy because her property was very desirable. The family did not intervene when she showed signs of problems and seh died totally destitute and homeless. She gave it away to anyone who asked and didn't realize that she was giving ALL of it away until it was gone. It seems to run in his family as his mother has made many similarly awful financial decisions that have let acquaintances profit into almost the $100,000 range. She is still working at almost 80 because she has given so much away. We cannot interfere as she doesn't even speak to us (who knows why - literally she has given no reason except that she already had a grandchild when Wiz was born - she is nuts) but husband's sister has put many limits on her assets after the last debacle. First discuss this with her. See if she is willing to have you either give her an amount of cash to have on hand and no checks/debit cards/credit cards. Or see if she will allow you to change the account to "and" instead of "or" (the names would read Mrs Muttmeister and Mrs Muttmeister's Mother) so that you both have to approve every check. If the family cannot convince her of this you may NEED to take legal steps to protect her. Allowing her to give her money to your children to the point that she is destitute is not good for her or anyone else. I am so sorry that this is an issue. Will the bank agree to notify you if she orders checks, etc....?? Of course you kids could "help" her order them from walmart or wherever and the bank would never know. That is why the "and" is a good option. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
somebody just shoot me
Top