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Something cooking with difficult child....
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 117649" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Barbara - </p><p></p><p>Hugs - sorry about getting here late. I didn't know you needed us. </p><p></p><p>You know - when our difficult child's have manipulated us to such a point it is no longer that we "think" we are trying to be out-manipulated again. It's more that we as parents KNOW our kids tactics and we KNOW that they really had to invest a lot of time thinking about HOW to come in our back door; as it were. </p><p></p><p>My sons brain on a schematic would have a rat running 100 mazes with the exit moved each time - and he would come out of it with flying colors. There seems to be something about their ability to switch gears, mid-motion that would be worthy of a scientific test. It's like super-brained children who can always figure out things when they are put to the test to change the situations to suit them. It's really nothing short of amazing and everything beyond exhaustion to parents. How DO you parent a child who keeps changing the course? I see a road, I don't know the area - I get a map. difficult child sees a road, he doesn't know the area - he plunges in full steam without worry or reason and comes out 99 out of 100 times successful. No map - just instinct. </p><p></p><p>I know everyone loves the dogs - but WHAT better way to get your foot in the door with YOU than to say that the remains of former dog and remains of future ill dog be buried at YOUR house? How could you say NO? You didn't. Because YOU loved those dogs too. </p><p>So maybe he's banking on the fact that you only live at "the house" 8 months out the year - and he's IN. And you know burying a pet is so traumatic - he could mask his behaviors under the guise of "I'm distraught." </p><p></p><p>If your Mommy sense tells you it's starting again - STOP IT. Find the courage and just say NO. Say no for him if nothing else - force him to figure out what he's going to have to do without YOUR house in his future, without HIM living with you. </p><p></p><p>Tell him you have no problem going with him on a road trip to bury your beloved pets - but ask him "So where are you going after that?" If he says "well i thought I'd just stay..." CUT HIM OFF and say "Well sadly - you've thought wrong." </p><p></p><p>I'm having a blotto brain day - so if I've missed the point here totally - sorry. But I think you know you are being manipulated and you're RADAR is up - (good job Mom) and why SHOULDN'T your radar be up? He's given you every reason to put those safety devices in place for self-preservation. </p><p></p><p>I guess I would say - if you get a feeling - don't doubt yourself. If you do - you'll be sorry. If you don't - the most it could lead to is difficult child being upset because you thought he was - but again - what has he ever given you to go on? History speaks for itself - and you can always say "I'm sorry." Saying I'm sorry to me would be better than saying "You're sorry and I was right." </p><p></p><p>As far as the commercial - WHY NOT CALL? What have you go to loose? Maybe they have some advice for now, or future, or maybe you'll never need to use it - but you called. And remember - advertisers hire the best in the business - they don't make money by hiring someone that doesn't produce commercials to NOT make their business grow. If that was true Aflack would NOT have a goat and an orangutan in their ads now - </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart...</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 117649, member: 4964"] Barbara - Hugs - sorry about getting here late. I didn't know you needed us. You know - when our difficult child's have manipulated us to such a point it is no longer that we "think" we are trying to be out-manipulated again. It's more that we as parents KNOW our kids tactics and we KNOW that they really had to invest a lot of time thinking about HOW to come in our back door; as it were. My sons brain on a schematic would have a rat running 100 mazes with the exit moved each time - and he would come out of it with flying colors. There seems to be something about their ability to switch gears, mid-motion that would be worthy of a scientific test. It's like super-brained children who can always figure out things when they are put to the test to change the situations to suit them. It's really nothing short of amazing and everything beyond exhaustion to parents. How DO you parent a child who keeps changing the course? I see a road, I don't know the area - I get a map. difficult child sees a road, he doesn't know the area - he plunges in full steam without worry or reason and comes out 99 out of 100 times successful. No map - just instinct. I know everyone loves the dogs - but WHAT better way to get your foot in the door with YOU than to say that the remains of former dog and remains of future ill dog be buried at YOUR house? How could you say NO? You didn't. Because YOU loved those dogs too. So maybe he's banking on the fact that you only live at "the house" 8 months out the year - and he's IN. And you know burying a pet is so traumatic - he could mask his behaviors under the guise of "I'm distraught." If your Mommy sense tells you it's starting again - STOP IT. Find the courage and just say NO. Say no for him if nothing else - force him to figure out what he's going to have to do without YOUR house in his future, without HIM living with you. Tell him you have no problem going with him on a road trip to bury your beloved pets - but ask him "So where are you going after that?" If he says "well i thought I'd just stay..." CUT HIM OFF and say "Well sadly - you've thought wrong." I'm having a blotto brain day - so if I've missed the point here totally - sorry. But I think you know you are being manipulated and you're RADAR is up - (good job Mom) and why SHOULDN'T your radar be up? He's given you every reason to put those safety devices in place for self-preservation. I guess I would say - if you get a feeling - don't doubt yourself. If you do - you'll be sorry. If you don't - the most it could lead to is difficult child being upset because you thought he was - but again - what has he ever given you to go on? History speaks for itself - and you can always say "I'm sorry." Saying I'm sorry to me would be better than saying "You're sorry and I was right." As far as the commercial - WHY NOT CALL? What have you go to loose? Maybe they have some advice for now, or future, or maybe you'll never need to use it - but you called. And remember - advertisers hire the best in the business - they don't make money by hiring someone that doesn't produce commercials to NOT make their business grow. If that was true Aflack would NOT have a goat and an orangutan in their ads now - Hugs for your hurting heart... Star [/QUOTE]
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