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Substance Abuse
Sometimes I think we are going to need a bigger couch...what's new with you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsieshaye" data-source="post: 521703" data-attributes="member: 12928"><p>Grabbing a cup and sitting with y'all. Have only heard sporadically from difficult child, when he needs something like his birth certificate, to help with meeting I-9 requirements for a job. No requests for money received, and I haven't offered any. I did unblock him from being able to see my Facebook posts (which are rare and generally have to do with the weather or the cat, lol). He hasn't blocked me from seeing his FB wall, but his girlfriend is the one who posts on there most often, although he comments. (I like her - she's funny and kind and obviously cares about him, if the posts are representative of how they are with each other). Most of his spontaneous posts and a lot of the comments involve pot references. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/proudmom.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":proudmom:" title="proudmom :proudmom:" data-shortname=":proudmom:" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> </p><p></p><p>What I'm struggling with right now is blaming myself for where he is and internalizing his anger at me. Working on that in therapy. Still very hard not to feel like a bad parent, especially when my boyfriend's son is doing so well. I feel guilty for not protecting difficult child more from his father's crazy, and for not standing up to his father more. I wonder sometimes if I am over-reacting and blaming difficult child for something that should be my responsibility, or if I should be friendlier and more supportive and initiate more contact. But, fundamentally, I don't want to, and I honestly do find him abusive. Struggling with the idea that a child -can- be abusive to a parent, or that the difficult child events over time can be traumatic for us as well as for them, and feeling like I need to take more responsibility because difficult child is the child and I am the parent. I know that's not helpful or entirely accurate, but I'm still struggling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsieshaye, post: 521703, member: 12928"] Grabbing a cup and sitting with y'all. Have only heard sporadically from difficult child, when he needs something like his birth certificate, to help with meeting I-9 requirements for a job. No requests for money received, and I haven't offered any. I did unblock him from being able to see my Facebook posts (which are rare and generally have to do with the weather or the cat, lol). He hasn't blocked me from seeing his FB wall, but his girlfriend is the one who posts on there most often, although he comments. (I like her - she's funny and kind and obviously cares about him, if the posts are representative of how they are with each other). Most of his spontaneous posts and a lot of the comments involve pot references. :proudmom::rolleyes: What I'm struggling with right now is blaming myself for where he is and internalizing his anger at me. Working on that in therapy. Still very hard not to feel like a bad parent, especially when my boyfriend's son is doing so well. I feel guilty for not protecting difficult child more from his father's crazy, and for not standing up to his father more. I wonder sometimes if I am over-reacting and blaming difficult child for something that should be my responsibility, or if I should be friendlier and more supportive and initiate more contact. But, fundamentally, I don't want to, and I honestly do find him abusive. Struggling with the idea that a child -can- be abusive to a parent, or that the difficult child events over time can be traumatic for us as well as for them, and feeling like I need to take more responsibility because difficult child is the child and I am the parent. I know that's not helpful or entirely accurate, but I'm still struggling. [/QUOTE]
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Sometimes I think we are going to need a bigger couch...what's new with you?
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