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Sometimes in life you need grounding.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 322344" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>But by the grace ........... go my difficult child and many of our difficult children. </p><p></p><p>Being intelligent doesn't necessarily make you function. What looks like abilities are their intelligence creating a good cover over the holes in their thinking that prevents them from being able to assimilate. Try to not think too badly of their families since I can understand siblings being tired of the drama that many of these guys bring to families. Just because they aren't like that with the staff or you doesn't mean they haven't created a life of he$$ with sibs and parents. They are there because there is no where else to go or because they are so difficult that the remaining family isn't able to handle them. Most people have to work all day and these guys usually need a moderate to large amount of supervision. Trust me that these difficult children don't realize or appreciate the sacrifice that caring for them entails. It is a thankless job that is done for love because no amount of money could make it worth it. </p><p></p><p>I see the places like this and I work doubly hard at trying to find an alternative and nudge him towards more independence. Maybe someday when difficult child is 60 that is where he will be. It won't be because no one cares but because after all attempts to help him find a niche and a life he loves it never happens. It isn't a he&& hole but a safe environment in which he can spend his days. </p><p></p><p>We are grateful every day for the lessons learned due to difficult child but I will never be grateful that he was cheated out of a fair chance at a full life. </p><p></p><p>It is good that you want to invest time to get to know these unique human beings. It helps one face your own mortality and what you have done in your life given that we have all of our facilities. It drives me to use what I have and to do the right thing for both difficult child and easy child while nurturing and loving my family. </p><p></p><p>Give the residents a hug from me. Reading your description makes me want to hug difficult child again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 322344, member: 3"] But by the grace ........... go my difficult child and many of our difficult children. Being intelligent doesn't necessarily make you function. What looks like abilities are their intelligence creating a good cover over the holes in their thinking that prevents them from being able to assimilate. Try to not think too badly of their families since I can understand siblings being tired of the drama that many of these guys bring to families. Just because they aren't like that with the staff or you doesn't mean they haven't created a life of he$$ with sibs and parents. They are there because there is no where else to go or because they are so difficult that the remaining family isn't able to handle them. Most people have to work all day and these guys usually need a moderate to large amount of supervision. Trust me that these difficult children don't realize or appreciate the sacrifice that caring for them entails. It is a thankless job that is done for love because no amount of money could make it worth it. I see the places like this and I work doubly hard at trying to find an alternative and nudge him towards more independence. Maybe someday when difficult child is 60 that is where he will be. It won't be because no one cares but because after all attempts to help him find a niche and a life he loves it never happens. It isn't a he&& hole but a safe environment in which he can spend his days. We are grateful every day for the lessons learned due to difficult child but I will never be grateful that he was cheated out of a fair chance at a full life. It is good that you want to invest time to get to know these unique human beings. It helps one face your own mortality and what you have done in your life given that we have all of our facilities. It drives me to use what I have and to do the right thing for both difficult child and easy child while nurturing and loving my family. Give the residents a hug from me. Reading your description makes me want to hug difficult child again. [/QUOTE]
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