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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 218268" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>No worries, Mamabear.</p><p></p><p>As for possibly having Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) yourself - I just came home from difficult child 3's drama class (for local kids with learning problems; many have autism) and while the kids are in the hall doing their drama class, the parents (mostly mothers) are gasbagging in the next room and having our own informal support group. One of the mothers there was singing my praises at finding answers on the internet - she calls me "Mrs Google" - and was announcing, "I'm sure you have Asperger's, you're such a fount of knowledge on absolutely everything!"</p><p></p><p>I had to quietly giggle - in her eyes, a diagnosis of Asperger's is a POSITIVE trait. Her own son has something else wrong, but a number of us have Aspie/autistic kids (a lot of our kids were in "The Black Balloon" in the Noah's Ark segment. The film's writer/director had specifically asked for autistic kids and their siblings to do that bit).</p><p></p><p>In my posts I often seem critical of ODD as a diagnosis - I do not mean to disparage those cases where ODD has been given as the most appropriate diagnosis. I do not say that ODD doesn't exist, only that I believe in a number of cases you can see something that looks a lot like ODD, but that has been caused by trying to discipline a child in a manner which is incompatible with their disorder, and that in those cases the stricter, more controlling parenting can produce these similarities.</p><p></p><p>I'm told (by some people here) that ODD is very difficult to treat. However, what I have observed is that there is something that LOOKS a lot like ODD that seems to respond really well to Ross Greene's methods in "Explosive Child". </p><p></p><p>The older a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, or the smarter a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, the more difficult it can be to get a firm diagnosis. Despite what people used to believe about autism, our kids generally WANT to fit in, they want to please those in authority, they try to obey and follow rules. The problem is, they have to work it all out for themselves especially when they begin to realise that people SAY one thing, but mean something else. </p><p></p><p>Rules, for example. difficult child 3 at his mainstream school did well to begin with (although still struggled to fit in, even while he didn't realise he was different) but soon became a focus for bullies. Unfortunately the school didn't handle this well (his class teachers in a couple of his later years were not good at dealing with bullies; they always took the easy way out and really didn't watch closely enough or seem to care). So while difficult child 3 was being told, "You must not hit other children," he was experiencing other children hitting him, and not being corrected. So the official rule (in his mind) clearly was NOT the REAL rule. As he understood it, the REAL rule was, "difficult child 3 is not allowed to hit other children, but other children may hit difficult child 3." </p><p></p><p>Also part of this - difficult child 3 would treat other people exactly as they treated him. I had also experienced this earlier with easy child 2/difficult child 2 but not recognised it. She would stand there, hands on hips as I poured a drink of milk for her, and say, "I told you, I want JUICE! Why don't you ever listen?"</p><p>She was not being rude (in her mind) because this is how some adults (including me at the time) spoke to her, so that must make it alright.</p><p></p><p>Mamabear, I hope I'm wrong but this is important - do the test on your other child. Some people believe that ADHD is simply Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in another form. It also can be easily missed. It also can be found in siblings.</p><p></p><p>However, it is NOT necessarily a bad news diagnosis. I have two and a half on the spectrum, as I say. Although frankly, I think easy child 2/difficult child 2 now does fall on the spectrum more clearly. And difficult child 1 wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until he was 14. His diagnosis was disputed for a while because he is so bright, he had adapted. He wasn't consciously trying to be deceptive and hide his problems, he had simply learned over the years to try to blend in and did it subconsciously. It was really difficult to get a good handle on him. </p><p></p><p>It is difficult child 1 who just got married ten days ago. Ten years ago I would never have thought it possible, I wanted to wrap him in cotton wool so he'd never have to fall in love and get hurt; he was suicidal after breaking up with his first girlfriend, but she simply outgrew him, he didn't have the social maturity to maintain the relationship. But now he does. His bride is very smart, but not Aspie.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile difficult child 3 is an amazing kid. He scores as moderate on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) scale, but since we took a lot of pressure off him is making amazing progress socially as well as academically. We have made a lot of adjustments for him but he is worth the effort we are making, it is really paying off.</p><p></p><p>Like you I also have chronic illnesses. I now see this as a blessing because it has forced me to be a stay-at-home mother, which has given me a lot more options with difficult child 3. He does his schooling at home (correspondence) and is working so much more effectively at his schooling, now he can choose what to work on, for how long and when.</p><p></p><p>When you can, look for anything written by Tony Attwood, to get a positive spin on Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Also do make sure you get those test results to a specialist who is prepared to look at it all and give your concerns some serious consideration. On this site we often recommend a neuropsychologist assessment. We can't diagnose on this site; the website test I gave you is only unofficial, you can't rely on it for anything formal but only to give you some sense of direction.</p><p></p><p>But it does sound like you are on a more positive track for now. I'm so pleased!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 218268, member: 1991"] No worries, Mamabear. As for possibly having Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) yourself - I just came home from difficult child 3's drama class (for local kids with learning problems; many have autism) and while the kids are in the hall doing their drama class, the parents (mostly mothers) are gasbagging in the next room and having our own informal support group. One of the mothers there was singing my praises at finding answers on the internet - she calls me "Mrs Google" - and was announcing, "I'm sure you have Asperger's, you're such a fount of knowledge on absolutely everything!" I had to quietly giggle - in her eyes, a diagnosis of Asperger's is a POSITIVE trait. Her own son has something else wrong, but a number of us have Aspie/autistic kids (a lot of our kids were in "The Black Balloon" in the Noah's Ark segment. The film's writer/director had specifically asked for autistic kids and their siblings to do that bit). In my posts I often seem critical of ODD as a diagnosis - I do not mean to disparage those cases where ODD has been given as the most appropriate diagnosis. I do not say that ODD doesn't exist, only that I believe in a number of cases you can see something that looks a lot like ODD, but that has been caused by trying to discipline a child in a manner which is incompatible with their disorder, and that in those cases the stricter, more controlling parenting can produce these similarities. I'm told (by some people here) that ODD is very difficult to treat. However, what I have observed is that there is something that LOOKS a lot like ODD that seems to respond really well to Ross Greene's methods in "Explosive Child". The older a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, or the smarter a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, the more difficult it can be to get a firm diagnosis. Despite what people used to believe about autism, our kids generally WANT to fit in, they want to please those in authority, they try to obey and follow rules. The problem is, they have to work it all out for themselves especially when they begin to realise that people SAY one thing, but mean something else. Rules, for example. difficult child 3 at his mainstream school did well to begin with (although still struggled to fit in, even while he didn't realise he was different) but soon became a focus for bullies. Unfortunately the school didn't handle this well (his class teachers in a couple of his later years were not good at dealing with bullies; they always took the easy way out and really didn't watch closely enough or seem to care). So while difficult child 3 was being told, "You must not hit other children," he was experiencing other children hitting him, and not being corrected. So the official rule (in his mind) clearly was NOT the REAL rule. As he understood it, the REAL rule was, "difficult child 3 is not allowed to hit other children, but other children may hit difficult child 3." Also part of this - difficult child 3 would treat other people exactly as they treated him. I had also experienced this earlier with easy child 2/difficult child 2 but not recognised it. She would stand there, hands on hips as I poured a drink of milk for her, and say, "I told you, I want JUICE! Why don't you ever listen?" She was not being rude (in her mind) because this is how some adults (including me at the time) spoke to her, so that must make it alright. Mamabear, I hope I'm wrong but this is important - do the test on your other child. Some people believe that ADHD is simply Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in another form. It also can be easily missed. It also can be found in siblings. However, it is NOT necessarily a bad news diagnosis. I have two and a half on the spectrum, as I say. Although frankly, I think easy child 2/difficult child 2 now does fall on the spectrum more clearly. And difficult child 1 wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until he was 14. His diagnosis was disputed for a while because he is so bright, he had adapted. He wasn't consciously trying to be deceptive and hide his problems, he had simply learned over the years to try to blend in and did it subconsciously. It was really difficult to get a good handle on him. It is difficult child 1 who just got married ten days ago. Ten years ago I would never have thought it possible, I wanted to wrap him in cotton wool so he'd never have to fall in love and get hurt; he was suicidal after breaking up with his first girlfriend, but she simply outgrew him, he didn't have the social maturity to maintain the relationship. But now he does. His bride is very smart, but not Aspie. Meanwhile difficult child 3 is an amazing kid. He scores as moderate on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) scale, but since we took a lot of pressure off him is making amazing progress socially as well as academically. We have made a lot of adjustments for him but he is worth the effort we are making, it is really paying off. Like you I also have chronic illnesses. I now see this as a blessing because it has forced me to be a stay-at-home mother, which has given me a lot more options with difficult child 3. He does his schooling at home (correspondence) and is working so much more effectively at his schooling, now he can choose what to work on, for how long and when. When you can, look for anything written by Tony Attwood, to get a positive spin on Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Also do make sure you get those test results to a specialist who is prepared to look at it all and give your concerns some serious consideration. On this site we often recommend a neuropsychologist assessment. We can't diagnose on this site; the website test I gave you is only unofficial, you can't rely on it for anything formal but only to give you some sense of direction. But it does sound like you are on a more positive track for now. I'm so pleased! Marg [/QUOTE]
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