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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 440087" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board.</p><p></p><p>While it may or may not be a comfort to you, your son is acting like a fairly typical college freshman. Or at least many of them. Usually.......they get back on track and finish school just fine and go on to lead normal lives. He's suffering from what I like to call grownupitis. He's an adult. He suddenly has freedom to do exactly what he wants to do or not to do what he doesn't want to do. And he's currently playing it to the hilt. He has not yet gained the maturity to realize that with adulthood and that so called freedom comes responsibility and consequences for every decision you make. </p><p></p><p>Best thing you can do for him?</p><p></p><p>Make him face whatever consequences come from this. Do nothing to make it easy for him. Don't bail him out of jail. Don't pay his fines. Don't run interference with the school. Make him deal with all the repercussions from his behavior and poor choices all by himself. </p><p></p><p>It may sound mean........because it really wasn't that long ago when he was a child........(we parents think like that) but trust me, it's not mean. The sooner he learns that poor choices have consequences that are unpleasant, the better, and the faster he will begin to mature. </p><p></p><p>And while it may not have been that long ago when he was a child.......the fact is he is no longer a child. Which means you have no more control over his behavior. All you can do as parents is decide what behavior is acceptable / unacceptable and what you will do in any given situation. It's a good idea to have plans made in advance.....even if they seem "far out there" at the moment. </p><p></p><p>Currently, he's acting like a teen with too much freedom. Invincible.......nothing can happen to him. He's going to expect you to "fix it" for him. But unfortunately if you do, the longer it will take for him to learn.........and if you do it long enough......well "helping" can often develop into enabling, then you have a whole new mess of issues.</p><p></p><p>It's good that you and his dad are on good terms. It will be a huge help if you're on the same page with this and can work as a united front. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 440087, member: 84"] Welcome to the board. While it may or may not be a comfort to you, your son is acting like a fairly typical college freshman. Or at least many of them. Usually.......they get back on track and finish school just fine and go on to lead normal lives. He's suffering from what I like to call grownupitis. He's an adult. He suddenly has freedom to do exactly what he wants to do or not to do what he doesn't want to do. And he's currently playing it to the hilt. He has not yet gained the maturity to realize that with adulthood and that so called freedom comes responsibility and consequences for every decision you make. Best thing you can do for him? Make him face whatever consequences come from this. Do nothing to make it easy for him. Don't bail him out of jail. Don't pay his fines. Don't run interference with the school. Make him deal with all the repercussions from his behavior and poor choices all by himself. It may sound mean........because it really wasn't that long ago when he was a child........(we parents think like that) but trust me, it's not mean. The sooner he learns that poor choices have consequences that are unpleasant, the better, and the faster he will begin to mature. And while it may not have been that long ago when he was a child.......the fact is he is no longer a child. Which means you have no more control over his behavior. All you can do as parents is decide what behavior is acceptable / unacceptable and what you will do in any given situation. It's a good idea to have plans made in advance.....even if they seem "far out there" at the moment. Currently, he's acting like a teen with too much freedom. Invincible.......nothing can happen to him. He's going to expect you to "fix it" for him. But unfortunately if you do, the longer it will take for him to learn.........and if you do it long enough......well "helping" can often develop into enabling, then you have a whole new mess of issues. It's good that you and his dad are on good terms. It will be a huge help if you're on the same page with this and can work as a united front. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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