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Son Finally diagnosed bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 670363" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Ca Mom,</p><p>So sorry for you troubles, oh my, you have been through so much.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I've been through some stuff too, and just recently got off the enabling go round. That is so new for me, that I am hardly qualified to post, but here is what I have learned and will have to repeat to myself in the event of a phone call.</p><p></p><p>My two Difficult Child have put us through a bunch of crazy stuff, ripped us off, burnt their bridges with us, basically "biting the hands that feed". We have tried and tried to help to no avail.</p><p></p><p>Turns, out their definition of help and ours is quite the opposite.</p><p></p><p>Our definition-</p><p>We will help you get on your feet, so you can get cleaned up, get a job and be responsible.</p><p></p><p>Their definition- </p><p>You have to help us, we are your children. We will live at your house, eat your food, steal things from you, break in to your house, party when we want, because we are adults and this is our life, but by the way can you pick us up, watch the kids, etc. etc.</p><p></p><p>Our help was meant for them to try to help themselves, the more we helped them, the less they helped themselves. Vicious cycle.</p><p></p><p>What we learned. There are shelters out there and help for people who want it. They are adults and responsible for their choices. There is absolutely nothing we can do for them. They will use us over and over and not learn from our help. We do not deserve to be dragged through the crazy. We have our lives to live. </p><p></p><p>The biggest lesson, we are helping them the most, by <em>NOT</em> helping them.</p><p></p><p>I wish for peace for you. I wish for that for all of us here. </p><p></p><p>Stay strong and find time for yourself. You are not alone CA Mom!</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 670363, member: 19522"] Hi Ca Mom, So sorry for you troubles, oh my, you have been through so much. I've been through some stuff too, and just recently got off the enabling go round. That is so new for me, that I am hardly qualified to post, but here is what I have learned and will have to repeat to myself in the event of a phone call. My two Difficult Child have put us through a bunch of crazy stuff, ripped us off, burnt their bridges with us, basically "biting the hands that feed". We have tried and tried to help to no avail. Turns, out their definition of help and ours is quite the opposite. Our definition- We will help you get on your feet, so you can get cleaned up, get a job and be responsible. Their definition- You have to help us, we are your children. We will live at your house, eat your food, steal things from you, break in to your house, party when we want, because we are adults and this is our life, but by the way can you pick us up, watch the kids, etc. etc. Our help was meant for them to try to help themselves, the more we helped them, the less they helped themselves. Vicious cycle. What we learned. There are shelters out there and help for people who want it. They are adults and responsible for their choices. There is absolutely nothing we can do for them. They will use us over and over and not learn from our help. We do not deserve to be dragged through the crazy. We have our lives to live. The biggest lesson, we are helping them the most, by [I]NOT[/I] helping them. I wish for peace for you. I wish for that for all of us here. Stay strong and find time for yourself. You are not alone CA Mom! (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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