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Substance Abuse
Son finally moved out
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 690320" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Dearest Colleen, I know this has been a difficult journey for you and your family. From your posts I can see that you gave your boys a wonderful life and built a firm foundation for them to stand on. Now that base, becomes a platform for them to launch, spread their wings and fly in the direction of their choosing. The end of the story is not yet written and though your eldest has deviated from the path you so hoped for, it is not failure you are looking at, just someone searching for their meaning. He has a place to live and a job. This is good. He has to become motivated to care for his needs, to discover what he wants out of life. No more holing himself up in your home.</p><p>Younger son sounds like he has a good direction to set his sails for.</p><p>Now the work begins to try to focus on you and your life. It is a transition for sure, but it is a precious time for you and your husband. All of the years of sacrifice for your sons were well worth it, hopefully, they will one day look back and realize how much you did for them.</p><p>It is a process, working through all of the feelings that come with our d cs choices.</p><p>We are both grieving, you for the path your eldest is on, and I, for the loss of my husband.</p><p>One of my biggest regrets is the amount of time we lost together by trying desperately to help our d cs.</p><p>It was because we were grieving their choices too, and couldn't see beyond bargaining away our own lives, that really, they needed to learn from experiencing the consequences of their actions.</p><p>I cannot turn back the hands of time and redo it all, but I can at least use this life lesson to try and help others. From the bottom of my heart, I understand what you are going through.</p><p>I must write to you that this is a moment in time where you can rejuvenate your relationship with your spouse, make plans to have new adventures and experiences. Show your two boys that your marriage is precious and <em><strong>comes first now</strong></em>. In this, your sons will learn to become self reliant, and know that they must honor and respect the sanctity of your union with your husband.</p><p>Peace be yours dear, as you work through this grief and discover what the future holds, I too, will be headed towards the horizon knowing that the road ahead may be difficult.</p><p>Our lives have great value, and time is precious and short.</p><p>We can no longer hold our children's hands and lead them on their way, <em><strong>but we can show them the way, by how we lead our own lives. </strong></em></p><p>Take the time you need to work through your feelings, and I will as well.</p><p>Me ke aloha,</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 690320, member: 19522"] Dearest Colleen, I know this has been a difficult journey for you and your family. From your posts I can see that you gave your boys a wonderful life and built a firm foundation for them to stand on. Now that base, becomes a platform for them to launch, spread their wings and fly in the direction of their choosing. The end of the story is not yet written and though your eldest has deviated from the path you so hoped for, it is not failure you are looking at, just someone searching for their meaning. He has a place to live and a job. This is good. He has to become motivated to care for his needs, to discover what he wants out of life. No more holing himself up in your home. Younger son sounds like he has a good direction to set his sails for. Now the work begins to try to focus on you and your life. It is a transition for sure, but it is a precious time for you and your husband. All of the years of sacrifice for your sons were well worth it, hopefully, they will one day look back and realize how much you did for them. It is a process, working through all of the feelings that come with our d cs choices. We are both grieving, you for the path your eldest is on, and I, for the loss of my husband. One of my biggest regrets is the amount of time we lost together by trying desperately to help our d cs. It was because we were grieving their choices too, and couldn't see beyond bargaining away our own lives, that really, they needed to learn from experiencing the consequences of their actions. I cannot turn back the hands of time and redo it all, but I can at least use this life lesson to try and help others. From the bottom of my heart, I understand what you are going through. I must write to you that this is a moment in time where you can rejuvenate your relationship with your spouse, make plans to have new adventures and experiences. Show your two boys that your marriage is precious and [I][B]comes first now[/B][/I]. In this, your sons will learn to become self reliant, and know that they must honor and respect the sanctity of your union with your husband. Peace be yours dear, as you work through this grief and discover what the future holds, I too, will be headed towards the horizon knowing that the road ahead may be difficult. Our lives have great value, and time is precious and short. We can no longer hold our children's hands and lead them on their way, [I][B]but we can show them the way, by how we lead our own lives. [/B][/I] Take the time you need to work through your feelings, and I will as well. Me ke aloha, Leaf [/QUOTE]
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