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Substance Abuse
Son going down hill
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 636236" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Ok so yes your son is using drugs... the prescription drug use is a bad sign really as it can lead to some heavy duty drugs. I know this is very frightening and scary.</p><p></p><p>Fact is you have absolutely no control over his drug use.... and if he wants to use he will and he will do what he can to get around rules based on drug tests. I say this with such confidence because we have definitely been there done that!! </p><p></p><p>And his lack of motivation, no interest in anything and his not sleeping at night, and sleeping during the day all point to drug use as well. Yes he may be depressed and so seeing a psychatirst and getting on an antidepressant is a good thing to do. Although the drug use will interfere with the effectiveness of anything the pscyh doctor prescribes.</p><p></p><p>All you can really do is set some boundaries for behavior to live in your home. At 23 he should be doing something... either working or going to school. It cannot be acceptable for him to live in your home, just getting a free ride, not contributing to anything. Not a good life lesson.</p><p></p><p>So my suggestion is first get yourself to some kind of parent support group such as alanon. We have found a wonderful alanon group for parents that has been a life saver for us.</p><p></p><p>Then I would set some strong guidelines/requirments to live in your home. These would be things like getting a job (or going to school), helping around the house (give him specific things he needs to do to contribute) etc. Give him a time frame and if he doesnt do these things he needs to move out... and then stick to it!</p><p></p><p>Personally I would stay away from making the rules about using or not using drugs. Yes to he cannot have drugs in your home as that is illegal and you want no part in illegal activity... but really you cant control his drug use, and there are many ways to get around drug tests. Testing him just sets him up to find ways to get around drug use.... or use things that dont show up on drug tests which are much worse than pot (which shows up for a month or so). </p><p></p><p>This is going to be hard and it means being willing to take a stand and stick to it. Dont set up a requirement (ie he leave your home) unless you are willing to stick to it. It is heartbreaking to kick a kid out of the home and yet some of us have had to do it. It is awful to have a kid on the streets but sometimes that is what you have to go through.</p><p></p><p>He is 23 and is an adult, it is time for him to figure out how to live a lfe.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 636236, member: 15801"] Ok so yes your son is using drugs... the prescription drug use is a bad sign really as it can lead to some heavy duty drugs. I know this is very frightening and scary. Fact is you have absolutely no control over his drug use.... and if he wants to use he will and he will do what he can to get around rules based on drug tests. I say this with such confidence because we have definitely been there done that!! And his lack of motivation, no interest in anything and his not sleeping at night, and sleeping during the day all point to drug use as well. Yes he may be depressed and so seeing a psychatirst and getting on an antidepressant is a good thing to do. Although the drug use will interfere with the effectiveness of anything the pscyh doctor prescribes. All you can really do is set some boundaries for behavior to live in your home. At 23 he should be doing something... either working or going to school. It cannot be acceptable for him to live in your home, just getting a free ride, not contributing to anything. Not a good life lesson. So my suggestion is first get yourself to some kind of parent support group such as alanon. We have found a wonderful alanon group for parents that has been a life saver for us. Then I would set some strong guidelines/requirments to live in your home. These would be things like getting a job (or going to school), helping around the house (give him specific things he needs to do to contribute) etc. Give him a time frame and if he doesnt do these things he needs to move out... and then stick to it! Personally I would stay away from making the rules about using or not using drugs. Yes to he cannot have drugs in your home as that is illegal and you want no part in illegal activity... but really you cant control his drug use, and there are many ways to get around drug tests. Testing him just sets him up to find ways to get around drug use.... or use things that dont show up on drug tests which are much worse than pot (which shows up for a month or so). This is going to be hard and it means being willing to take a stand and stick to it. Dont set up a requirement (ie he leave your home) unless you are willing to stick to it. It is heartbreaking to kick a kid out of the home and yet some of us have had to do it. It is awful to have a kid on the streets but sometimes that is what you have to go through. He is 23 and is an adult, it is time for him to figure out how to live a lfe. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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