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Son hiding his face for the entire counseling session (Autism spectrum)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 357698" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Don't let this get to you too much. Remember, it has taken difficult child 1 ten years longer than usual, to finally get an apprenticeship. But he's done it. With a lot of help. He's also married (although I have to keep reminding him, he's her husband and not her child). </p><p></p><p>We've had access to a number of support services but what helped us a lot was two things - </p><p></p><p>1) My ongoing involvement especially trying to make sure he did VOLUNTEER work regularly, it all counts as work experience but we chose something he liked and felt safe with</p><p></p><p>2) A good disability agency that really understood the problems and would continue to work with both him and the employer indefinitely if necessary, to iron out any problems. I also liased with the agency.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how we'll go with difficult child 3. Maybe better: we already know where he will work - computers! And most of the people working in computers understand this sort of mind...</p><p></p><p>Another thing we're having to do, is get difficult child 3 through school at half pace. So instead of being 17 at graduation, he will be 21. But we're also working to get him some tertiary qualification in computers at the same time, so he will get his high school diploma (hopefully) at the same time as his college diploma in computers.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3's drama class is for kids in our area with disabilities. A lot of the drama class kids are on the spectrum. In fact when we did "The Black Balloon" the Noah's Ark segment was cast mostly from difficult child 3's drama class (fluke - we all happened to hear about it, spread the word amongst ourselves) and so a lot of those kids knew one another beforehand. Also they were older than most - difficult child 3 was the youngest by a few years. Not all those "Afloat" kids were autistic, some of the siblings were in that scene too. And some were the main cast. But as we rehearsed, we all (parents) talked about where our kids were going and how we got them there. Several of them were in the workforce, mostly in undemanding jobs but at least they were working, and enjoying working. </p><p></p><p>What we've seen happens - as they get accustomed to a position in the workforce, they get to know the people they see every day, they do their job as well as they can and slowly they begin to take more steps. Their special abilities gradually become seen as an asset. One young man who stocks shelves in the supermarket runs an ongoing stocktake in his head - a customer wanting a product, this man can always find it even if he has to go looking in the storeroom out the back.</p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 is only borderline Aspie, but is a checkout chick par excellence. She keeps a running tally in her head of how much is in her till and ALWAYS balances, to the smallest coin. But working has forced her to confront her problem areas and work on them, especially her face blindness and her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behaviours. She has developed a lot more people handling skills.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 also is a lot better with people now he's had more exposure to strangers. He's realised that in the workforce, he is only seen as a fragment of his whole person, and he can 'hide' behind his "I am a lowly apprentice, you don't need to notice me" persona. He actually feels more secure if a client comes in and needs to ask questions, such as when will the boss be back. If a question is too hard, he just has to say, "I'm only the apprentice. The boss will be with you shortly."</p><p></p><p>The skills do come. But just as we knew difficult child 1 would never be able to work in retail (too noisy, too many people) there is always the right niche for everyone. It's just a matter of helping him find it. </p><p></p><p>Keep assuring him, when he goes out to work, it WILL be possible for him to have choice, and to feel safe. He will have some control and because of this, as he gets to know the people he works with, they will become an extension of himself.</p><p></p><p>But yes, it does take longer. However, I consider the time I have spent to be a worthy investment in the future of my child.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 357698, member: 1991"] Don't let this get to you too much. Remember, it has taken difficult child 1 ten years longer than usual, to finally get an apprenticeship. But he's done it. With a lot of help. He's also married (although I have to keep reminding him, he's her husband and not her child). We've had access to a number of support services but what helped us a lot was two things - 1) My ongoing involvement especially trying to make sure he did VOLUNTEER work regularly, it all counts as work experience but we chose something he liked and felt safe with 2) A good disability agency that really understood the problems and would continue to work with both him and the employer indefinitely if necessary, to iron out any problems. I also liased with the agency. I don't know how we'll go with difficult child 3. Maybe better: we already know where he will work - computers! And most of the people working in computers understand this sort of mind... Another thing we're having to do, is get difficult child 3 through school at half pace. So instead of being 17 at graduation, he will be 21. But we're also working to get him some tertiary qualification in computers at the same time, so he will get his high school diploma (hopefully) at the same time as his college diploma in computers. difficult child 3's drama class is for kids in our area with disabilities. A lot of the drama class kids are on the spectrum. In fact when we did "The Black Balloon" the Noah's Ark segment was cast mostly from difficult child 3's drama class (fluke - we all happened to hear about it, spread the word amongst ourselves) and so a lot of those kids knew one another beforehand. Also they were older than most - difficult child 3 was the youngest by a few years. Not all those "Afloat" kids were autistic, some of the siblings were in that scene too. And some were the main cast. But as we rehearsed, we all (parents) talked about where our kids were going and how we got them there. Several of them were in the workforce, mostly in undemanding jobs but at least they were working, and enjoying working. What we've seen happens - as they get accustomed to a position in the workforce, they get to know the people they see every day, they do their job as well as they can and slowly they begin to take more steps. Their special abilities gradually become seen as an asset. One young man who stocks shelves in the supermarket runs an ongoing stocktake in his head - a customer wanting a product, this man can always find it even if he has to go looking in the storeroom out the back. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is only borderline Aspie, but is a checkout chick par excellence. She keeps a running tally in her head of how much is in her till and ALWAYS balances, to the smallest coin. But working has forced her to confront her problem areas and work on them, especially her face blindness and her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behaviours. She has developed a lot more people handling skills. difficult child 1 also is a lot better with people now he's had more exposure to strangers. He's realised that in the workforce, he is only seen as a fragment of his whole person, and he can 'hide' behind his "I am a lowly apprentice, you don't need to notice me" persona. He actually feels more secure if a client comes in and needs to ask questions, such as when will the boss be back. If a question is too hard, he just has to say, "I'm only the apprentice. The boss will be with you shortly." The skills do come. But just as we knew difficult child 1 would never be able to work in retail (too noisy, too many people) there is always the right niche for everyone. It's just a matter of helping him find it. Keep assuring him, when he goes out to work, it WILL be possible for him to have choice, and to feel safe. He will have some control and because of this, as he gets to know the people he works with, they will become an extension of himself. But yes, it does take longer. However, I consider the time I have spent to be a worthy investment in the future of my child. Marg [/QUOTE]
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