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General Parenting
Son hiding his face for the entire counseling session (Autism spectrum)
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 357804" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>MWM, I have a full expectation that my easy child will oversee that difficult child is not homeless. I do not expect that they will live together. It is what family does(in my humble opinion)</p><p>Besides it's not the same as a meaningful adult relationship. difficult child will be lonely even if he lives with family. He needs to walk on </p><p>his own path and not one of ours. All of this is discussed with difficult child. What does he want? How does he see his adult life?</p><p></p><p>MWM, I can't stress enough that you and husband must gradually start to treat him like a young man/adolescent. The longer he is treated like a 9yr old the longer he will act like one. Look at his peers and ask yourself what can difficult child do what they do?(within his ability) Then work on teaching difficult child how to do it. Obviously with good academics he can learn. Teach him about his medications. Teach him about where to go to solve a problem.</p><p>Out of medications? What should he do?</p><p>Is he hungry? What makes lunch? How does he feed himself? etc etc. </p><p>He feels sick. What should he do, who does he call?</p><p>Teach about what to do with a headache and how to read the directions on the tylenol bottle. </p><p>What should he do if he has a cold? </p><p>Ask him to pick a movie to watch. Ask his input, his opinion. Talk to him about current events. Plug him into a bigger world than your safe home. </p><p>difficult child told me no way would he ever go in the army or fight in a war. War is bad. Sounds great but I asked him who should keep us safe if we are attacked? Isn't it our responsibility to defend ourselves? our own home? Just gave him some thoughts to kick around so his thinking wasn't so concrete and he wasn't just regurgitating some stuff he heard or read. Obviously, he can't join the army but I wanted him to understand and respect those that keep us safe. They aren't the bad guys. </p><p>Same with politics. He didn't want to vote because politicians are all crooked. We had the discussion about government and what happens when it's not there. Discussed the fact that human beings aren't perfect and people forget who they are responsible for but citizens have to be responsible enough to be informed and vote. </p><p>Do you get my drift? Open the world up to him a little at a time so that the thinking becomes less rigid. </p><p>Spend a lifetime preparing him to live a life without you. My difficult child still can't remember all of this and I have been working on it for a long time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 357804, member: 3"] MWM, I have a full expectation that my easy child will oversee that difficult child is not homeless. I do not expect that they will live together. It is what family does(in my humble opinion) Besides it's not the same as a meaningful adult relationship. difficult child will be lonely even if he lives with family. He needs to walk on his own path and not one of ours. All of this is discussed with difficult child. What does he want? How does he see his adult life? MWM, I can't stress enough that you and husband must gradually start to treat him like a young man/adolescent. The longer he is treated like a 9yr old the longer he will act like one. Look at his peers and ask yourself what can difficult child do what they do?(within his ability) Then work on teaching difficult child how to do it. Obviously with good academics he can learn. Teach him about his medications. Teach him about where to go to solve a problem. Out of medications? What should he do? Is he hungry? What makes lunch? How does he feed himself? etc etc. He feels sick. What should he do, who does he call? Teach about what to do with a headache and how to read the directions on the tylenol bottle. What should he do if he has a cold? Ask him to pick a movie to watch. Ask his input, his opinion. Talk to him about current events. Plug him into a bigger world than your safe home. difficult child told me no way would he ever go in the army or fight in a war. War is bad. Sounds great but I asked him who should keep us safe if we are attacked? Isn't it our responsibility to defend ourselves? our own home? Just gave him some thoughts to kick around so his thinking wasn't so concrete and he wasn't just regurgitating some stuff he heard or read. Obviously, he can't join the army but I wanted him to understand and respect those that keep us safe. They aren't the bad guys. Same with politics. He didn't want to vote because politicians are all crooked. We had the discussion about government and what happens when it's not there. Discussed the fact that human beings aren't perfect and people forget who they are responsible for but citizens have to be responsible enough to be informed and vote. Do you get my drift? Open the world up to him a little at a time so that the thinking becomes less rigid. Spend a lifetime preparing him to live a life without you. My difficult child still can't remember all of this and I have been working on it for a long time. [/QUOTE]
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Son hiding his face for the entire counseling session (Autism spectrum)
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