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Son holds knife to wrist
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<blockquote data-quote="DrPepper" data-source="post: 485369" data-attributes="member: 13223"><p>Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom and offers of encouragement and support. The board makes me laugh and cry and laugh until I cry and has been my lifeline for support lately. So a big THANK YOU to all of you. </p><p></p><p>My son is now in the hospital. We were supposed to have a group meeting today, my son, my husband, the social worker and me. We arrived in full armor. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/tinfoilhatsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tinfoilhatsmile:" title="tinfoilhatsmile :tinfoilhatsmile:" data-shortname=":tinfoilhatsmile:" />When we got there the social worker said that my son did not want to join us. I have only spoken directly to my son once since he was taken away Thursday night. He asked if I could bring a few of his things. I told him on the phone that the gist of our meeting with social worker wouldn't be around whether or not he was going to come back home because that was no way no how gonna happen. My son, the manipulation master, probably thought his refusal to see us would lay some hurt and guilt. And it does hurt a little. But, we weren't all that excited to be seeing him either. </p><p></p><p>This time is different than his last hospital stay. Then we were all "how you doin' honey?" and "do you need anything while you're there?" and bringing him cutesy "feel better" cards and such. This time, not so much. Even his ex came to see him last time and them reuniting was like a scene out of the movie The Notebook. Yep, he had a lot of people in his corner then and blew that all to hell. Now we are all a little stronger, a bit more bitter, a tad more disgusted... well, you get it. We are hardened to what he does. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. </p><p></p><p>Since we have made up our minds about his not coming back home, where he will go is a question. We think he should go into a residential program for substance abuse and than to a group home or halfway house. After that, maybe the military. This foofy, spoiled-but-doesn't-know-it suburban kid wouldn't last a day on the streets. His doctor doesn't think we should waste our money on a program if my son isn't recognizing or committed to changing. Also, I've added a new term to my vocabulary to describe him and that is "King Baby." These are the primary traits of a King Baby and most fit my son. I've termed it "man-child" before this new term came along. Basically, he's a 5 yr old child in a 19 yr old man's body. </p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>Angry or afraid of authority figures and will attempt to work them against each other in order to get their own way</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>able to make good first impression but unable to follow through</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>are usually lonely even when surrounded by people</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>feel unappreciated and think they don't fit</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren't there for them</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>live in the past, fearful of the future</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>fear failure and rejections and don't try new things that they might not do well</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>are obsessed with money and material things</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>cannot tolerate illness in themselves or others</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>believe rules and laws are for others, not for themselves</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><em>often become addicted to excitement, life in the fast lane</em></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><p style="text-align: left"><em>hold emotional pain within and lose touch with their feelings<br /> </em></p> </li> </ul><p>Has anyone had experience with recovery for a King Baby?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DrPepper, post: 485369, member: 13223"] Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom and offers of encouragement and support. The board makes me laugh and cry and laugh until I cry and has been my lifeline for support lately. So a big THANK YOU to all of you. My son is now in the hospital. We were supposed to have a group meeting today, my son, my husband, the social worker and me. We arrived in full armor. :tinfoilhatsmile:When we got there the social worker said that my son did not want to join us. I have only spoken directly to my son once since he was taken away Thursday night. He asked if I could bring a few of his things. I told him on the phone that the gist of our meeting with social worker wouldn't be around whether or not he was going to come back home because that was no way no how gonna happen. My son, the manipulation master, probably thought his refusal to see us would lay some hurt and guilt. And it does hurt a little. But, we weren't all that excited to be seeing him either. This time is different than his last hospital stay. Then we were all "how you doin' honey?" and "do you need anything while you're there?" and bringing him cutesy "feel better" cards and such. This time, not so much. Even his ex came to see him last time and them reuniting was like a scene out of the movie The Notebook. Yep, he had a lot of people in his corner then and blew that all to hell. Now we are all a little stronger, a bit more bitter, a tad more disgusted... well, you get it. We are hardened to what he does. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Since we have made up our minds about his not coming back home, where he will go is a question. We think he should go into a residential program for substance abuse and than to a group home or halfway house. After that, maybe the military. This foofy, spoiled-but-doesn't-know-it suburban kid wouldn't last a day on the streets. His doctor doesn't think we should waste our money on a program if my son isn't recognizing or committed to changing. Also, I've added a new term to my vocabulary to describe him and that is "King Baby." These are the primary traits of a King Baby and most fit my son. I've termed it "man-child" before this new term came along. Basically, he's a 5 yr old child in a 19 yr old man's body. [LIST] [*][I]Angry or afraid of authority figures and will attempt to work them against each other in order to get their own way[/I] [*][I]seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process[/I] [*][I]able to make good first impression but unable to follow through[/I] [*][I]have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized[/I] [*][I]have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes[/I] [*][I]are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied[/I] [*][I]are usually lonely even when surrounded by people[/I] [*][I]are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives[/I] [*][I]feel unappreciated and think they don't fit[/I] [*][I]see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren't there for them[/I] [*][I]see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation[/I] [*][I]judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong[/I] [*][I]live in the past, fearful of the future[/I] [*][I]have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment[/I] [*][I]fear failure and rejections and don't try new things that they might not do well[/I] [*][I]are obsessed with money and material things[/I] [*][I]dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen[/I] [*][I]cannot tolerate illness in themselves or others[/I] [*][I]prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates[/I] [*][I]believe rules and laws are for others, not for themselves[/I] [*][I]often become addicted to excitement, life in the fast lane[/I] [*][LEFT][I]hold emotional pain within and lose touch with their feelings [/I][/LEFT] [/LIST]Has anyone had experience with recovery for a King Baby? [/QUOTE]
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