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Son in jail nightmare continues
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<blockquote data-quote="Did-I" data-source="post: 441690" data-attributes="member: 24"><p>Hi Sickandtired1.</p><p></p><p>I've been a 'member' here for many, many years, but don't visit as often as I guess I should. I came in to post an update on my now 27 yo difficult child and the first post I see is yours and your son in jail.</p><p></p><p>Now keep in mind I've not read any of your posts, I don't know your son's history (other than what you posted above) and what other problems you've had to deal with. PLEASE don't be offended by what I say -- anyone here that remembers me will tell you I'm not one that's out to bash anyone or hurt them -- but I'm straight forward and God knows I've been through it all with 2 difficult child's - the worst of it with my son (my other difficult child is a daughter). </p><p></p><p>It's clear to me that you've done a great deal for your son to get him the help he needs and he has clearly defied it. The same has been true with my son. He was in "the system" (mental health) from 3rd grade until he turned 18 - of course, at which time, he chose to walk away from treatment and any medications. He's gotten himself into trouble over the years - usually blaming it on a "drug addiction" -- I've never seen him high once. That's not to say he didn't get high, but I'm not convinced he was an addict that he tried to get everyone else to believe - especially the court system when it came down to him needing something to try to save his neck.</p><p></p><p>Guess where I'm going with this, and it's SO very hard to do, I know -- you have to let go and let him deal with this. He's a 24 year old adult. If he doesn't have the money for a lawyer, then he should apply for a public defender. This is something HE did and you and your husband are in no way to blame for ANY of your sons actions. They say you have to hit rock bottom. Robbery with a weapon is a Federal offense for which he is looking at A LOT of time in prison for. If that's not something that will wake him up and go clean, nothing will. But again, it's something HE has to want and something HE has to do. Unfortunately, though, if he's in lock up - #1, he will detox and that's going to be awful on him. #2 - he MAY get drug and alcohol counseling. As far as any mental health services and evaluations, it would be up to his lawyer to dig in to his past history (he'll seek out assistance from you and your husband on this) and he may petition the court to have him thoroughly evaluated. This may or may not help on the charges they have against him. </p><p></p><p>I feel your pain and offer big-time hugs to you for what you're going through and where you've been. Wishing you the best of luck, as well as your difficult child. </p><p></p><p>First and foremost, take care of YOU! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Did-I, post: 441690, member: 24"] Hi Sickandtired1. I've been a 'member' here for many, many years, but don't visit as often as I guess I should. I came in to post an update on my now 27 yo difficult child and the first post I see is yours and your son in jail. Now keep in mind I've not read any of your posts, I don't know your son's history (other than what you posted above) and what other problems you've had to deal with. PLEASE don't be offended by what I say -- anyone here that remembers me will tell you I'm not one that's out to bash anyone or hurt them -- but I'm straight forward and God knows I've been through it all with 2 difficult child's - the worst of it with my son (my other difficult child is a daughter). It's clear to me that you've done a great deal for your son to get him the help he needs and he has clearly defied it. The same has been true with my son. He was in "the system" (mental health) from 3rd grade until he turned 18 - of course, at which time, he chose to walk away from treatment and any medications. He's gotten himself into trouble over the years - usually blaming it on a "drug addiction" -- I've never seen him high once. That's not to say he didn't get high, but I'm not convinced he was an addict that he tried to get everyone else to believe - especially the court system when it came down to him needing something to try to save his neck. Guess where I'm going with this, and it's SO very hard to do, I know -- you have to let go and let him deal with this. He's a 24 year old adult. If he doesn't have the money for a lawyer, then he should apply for a public defender. This is something HE did and you and your husband are in no way to blame for ANY of your sons actions. They say you have to hit rock bottom. Robbery with a weapon is a Federal offense for which he is looking at A LOT of time in prison for. If that's not something that will wake him up and go clean, nothing will. But again, it's something HE has to want and something HE has to do. Unfortunately, though, if he's in lock up - #1, he will detox and that's going to be awful on him. #2 - he MAY get drug and alcohol counseling. As far as any mental health services and evaluations, it would be up to his lawyer to dig in to his past history (he'll seek out assistance from you and your husband on this) and he may petition the court to have him thoroughly evaluated. This may or may not help on the charges they have against him. I feel your pain and offer big-time hugs to you for what you're going through and where you've been. Wishing you the best of luck, as well as your difficult child. First and foremost, take care of YOU! :) [/QUOTE]
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