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Parent Emeritus
Son is hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 531755" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Gosh, I am so sorry. Certainly understandable that you would have all the feelings you have, and yet, you've done everything you possibly can, it does not seem that there is anything else you can do. I know how devastating that is to hear, as mother's we want so desperately to help them, but he is 23 and now it is up to him. Yes, I think it is perfectly okay and normal for you to want to get away and start building your own life. You have done it all for him, you have done your best, it is up to him now. I don't know that this is typical behavior per say, all of our difficult child's are unique, however what is similar is <u>our </u>pain and suffering and each of us having to ultimately face detaching from them. </p><p></p><p>Blackgnat, if you feel in your heart that you have done everything you can, and it sure sounds like you have, then all that is left to do is let go. Let him go to whatever your perception of a Higher Power is, surrender him to his destiny and do everything you can to take care of yourself and get support through this. I wouldn't look at it like "giving up on him" instead, I would see it as accepting that you've done all you can, that these are his choices, you have no control over his life and this is what is. The Serenity prayer can be helpful in these difficult moments. Gentle hugs to you and hopes that your path becomes easier and you find peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 531755, member: 13542"] Gosh, I am so sorry. Certainly understandable that you would have all the feelings you have, and yet, you've done everything you possibly can, it does not seem that there is anything else you can do. I know how devastating that is to hear, as mother's we want so desperately to help them, but he is 23 and now it is up to him. Yes, I think it is perfectly okay and normal for you to want to get away and start building your own life. You have done it all for him, you have done your best, it is up to him now. I don't know that this is typical behavior per say, all of our difficult child's are unique, however what is similar is [U]our [/U]pain and suffering and each of us having to ultimately face detaching from them. Blackgnat, if you feel in your heart that you have done everything you can, and it sure sounds like you have, then all that is left to do is let go. Let him go to whatever your perception of a Higher Power is, surrender him to his destiny and do everything you can to take care of yourself and get support through this. I wouldn't look at it like "giving up on him" instead, I would see it as accepting that you've done all you can, that these are his choices, you have no control over his life and this is what is. The Serenity prayer can be helpful in these difficult moments. Gentle hugs to you and hopes that your path becomes easier and you find peace. [/QUOTE]
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