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Son is hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 531778" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Blacknat,</p><p></p><p>You have gone SOOOOO far above and beyond what ANYONE can expect of a parent in your situation. There truly isn't anything that you can do other than truly letting go and letting him live with ALL of the consequences of his choices. until now he has had you to keep him from living on the streets for the most part, from dealing with a lot of the consequencs of his choices. So he really hasn't had to choose a different path because you were there to help him. </p><p></p><p>There isn't any way to lock him up because he is interested in serial killers. Unless he is caught or turned in for a crime, he has the same rights as anyone else. It sounds like the threat to kill himself when you die is manipulative.</p><p></p><p>If he is court ordered to go to residential rehab, the only thing you cn really do is to tell the courts he isn't gong to go. Other than that, he needs to be left to his own choices and devices.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE spend some time in therapy and alanon/narcanon and work hard on your relationship with your easy child. Most pcs feel they are pushed side and/or forced to give up their lives/goals/$/resources/parents/parents' love for the difficult child. We feel we worked dang hard to do all the right things, the things that were expected but all the attention went to the difficult children because they were always in trouble/crisis and we could 'wait' or 'be trusted to do the right thing with-o supervision'. It is something that parents don't really see that they are doing, but that needs to be worked on when parents can see this. Let easy child know that it is OK to close his door to difficult child, to not let difficult child into his home, to not share his resources, and to not answer the phone or call the cops if difficult child is t the door and won't go away. Having a difficult child sib takes a HUGE toll on a easy child, esp when one or both parents just keeps giving and giving tot he difficult child and expecting the easy child to care for the difficult child also.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 531778, member: 1233"] Blacknat, You have gone SOOOOO far above and beyond what ANYONE can expect of a parent in your situation. There truly isn't anything that you can do other than truly letting go and letting him live with ALL of the consequences of his choices. until now he has had you to keep him from living on the streets for the most part, from dealing with a lot of the consequencs of his choices. So he really hasn't had to choose a different path because you were there to help him. There isn't any way to lock him up because he is interested in serial killers. Unless he is caught or turned in for a crime, he has the same rights as anyone else. It sounds like the threat to kill himself when you die is manipulative. If he is court ordered to go to residential rehab, the only thing you cn really do is to tell the courts he isn't gong to go. Other than that, he needs to be left to his own choices and devices. PLEASE spend some time in therapy and alanon/narcanon and work hard on your relationship with your easy child. Most pcs feel they are pushed side and/or forced to give up their lives/goals/$/resources/parents/parents' love for the difficult child. We feel we worked dang hard to do all the right things, the things that were expected but all the attention went to the difficult children because they were always in trouble/crisis and we could 'wait' or 'be trusted to do the right thing with-o supervision'. It is something that parents don't really see that they are doing, but that needs to be worked on when parents can see this. Let easy child know that it is OK to close his door to difficult child, to not let difficult child into his home, to not share his resources, and to not answer the phone or call the cops if difficult child is t the door and won't go away. Having a difficult child sib takes a HUGE toll on a easy child, esp when one or both parents just keeps giving and giving tot he difficult child and expecting the easy child to care for the difficult child also. [/QUOTE]
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