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Son is hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 531991" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Thanks for all the replies and loving advice. Today he had an appointment to go to an Oxford House at 5:30, so I came at 4 to collect him and asleep on the couch. I woke him up and it was obvious he was drunk , so I called the place to say we wouldn't be coming. I guess I am just waiting for the cycle to repeat itself-he goes on benders, which produce a kind of psychosis and then he gets very physically ill and needs medical attention. Or he commits some kind of crime and is hauled off to jail. Then he gets sober, is full of remorse and wants to build a good life for himself. Takes no real action and off we go again. </p><p></p><p>Except this time it's a little different because he won't have this house to come back to-just as well, as it's a very toxic place for him...</p><p></p><p>He doesn't have a psychiatrist as he has no insurance and won't call the county. Thing is, after his last rehab and the ammonia on the brain discovery, he had failed to show up for a court date and he actually TURNED HIMSELF IN! I felt enormous hope because of this mature decision. He even had a bed waiting after a couple of weeks, but by this time the rot had set in, which is where we are now. </p><p></p><p>Because he is so manipulative (I suspect Borderline (BPD), though his diagnosis is bipolar) I suspect that he is waiting until the very last minute to get into a residential rehab, and until then, he will continue on his debauched lifestyle. Part of me wonders if there is just that criminal space in the universe that some of us are destined to occupy...</p><p></p><p>I am in therapy to deal with all this and I am trying to make sure that my easy child knows he is loved and that it's his time to shine. I don't fear for him because he has been to hell and back with his brother and knows I have his back. I have admitted my mistakes in focusing so much energy on the difficult child and easy child knows I love him.</p><p></p><p>THanks for the good wishes. Fingers crossed, right?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 531991, member: 13561"] Thanks for all the replies and loving advice. Today he had an appointment to go to an Oxford House at 5:30, so I came at 4 to collect him and asleep on the couch. I woke him up and it was obvious he was drunk , so I called the place to say we wouldn't be coming. I guess I am just waiting for the cycle to repeat itself-he goes on benders, which produce a kind of psychosis and then he gets very physically ill and needs medical attention. Or he commits some kind of crime and is hauled off to jail. Then he gets sober, is full of remorse and wants to build a good life for himself. Takes no real action and off we go again. Except this time it's a little different because he won't have this house to come back to-just as well, as it's a very toxic place for him... He doesn't have a psychiatrist as he has no insurance and won't call the county. Thing is, after his last rehab and the ammonia on the brain discovery, he had failed to show up for a court date and he actually TURNED HIMSELF IN! I felt enormous hope because of this mature decision. He even had a bed waiting after a couple of weeks, but by this time the rot had set in, which is where we are now. Because he is so manipulative (I suspect Borderline (BPD), though his diagnosis is bipolar) I suspect that he is waiting until the very last minute to get into a residential rehab, and until then, he will continue on his debauched lifestyle. Part of me wonders if there is just that criminal space in the universe that some of us are destined to occupy... I am in therapy to deal with all this and I am trying to make sure that my easy child knows he is loved and that it's his time to shine. I don't fear for him because he has been to hell and back with his brother and knows I have his back. I have admitted my mistakes in focusing so much energy on the difficult child and easy child knows I love him. THanks for the good wishes. Fingers crossed, right? [/QUOTE]
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