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Son threatened me emotionally and I"m so tired. Did I do the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 301064" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are all great friends...just terrific <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />.</p><p></p><p>Update: Son is sorry he "went there." He says he needs my support and just is in such a bad state of mind that he said what he said. I hope so. I won't tolerate it at any time.</p><p></p><p>On the up side, if there is a divorce my ex is so in love with our grandson that he is willing to help son stay in his house by helping with payments. The house is in his name only and, although Illinois is a community state, if he can continue making payments I doubt daughter in law would make him leave the house where George is so comfortable and has his room and his comfort. She loves George. I have no doubt of that. Plus I doubt in this market they could sell the house. SHE would be t he one who would have to leave because she almost drove them into bankruptcy and her income won't cover the house payments and son's child support wouldn't be enough to pay for the house. Ex is pretty well off. He could do it. He also promised to help son get a good lawyer, if it comes to that. Son is still hoping to save marriage.</p><p></p><p>Son got very good advice from his psychologist who is well known and promised to stick up for him in court. He told son to let daughter in law do her "healing seperateion therapy" which includes living together as though you are not together and even having other partners. He told my son she would hang herself. If she says "I no longer love you and I want out" he is to say, "Well, I still love you, and if you want to leave the marriage you will have to initiate it." If you knew her, you'd giggle. She is not very secure and this will throw her. Also, she wants him to react so that she can leave because "he is being a jerk." But he isn't being a jerk. </p><p></p><p>His main goal is he doesn't want to leave the marriage because he wants to see George every day, but, if he can't, he's going to leave the marriage looking good with a lot of help on his end. There is a small chance the marrige will continue. I'm not sure J. has the guts to really leave it. From a mom's point of view, I wish my son would divorce her because she is mentally abusing him to the extreme. But I'm proud of him for taking the higher road. He refuses to fight with her. This is a young man who has many psychiatric disorders and who, like me, has to fight hard for stability. But, for the most part, like me, he does maintain stability. It's daughter in law who is acting crazy now, not him.</p><p></p><p>And I thought I got to stop being THAT degree of mother when the kids turned 18 <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" />. I'm shocked at how emotioinal I am about this mess.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 301064, member: 1550"] You are all great friends...just terrific :happy:. Update: Son is sorry he "went there." He says he needs my support and just is in such a bad state of mind that he said what he said. I hope so. I won't tolerate it at any time. On the up side, if there is a divorce my ex is so in love with our grandson that he is willing to help son stay in his house by helping with payments. The house is in his name only and, although Illinois is a community state, if he can continue making payments I doubt daughter in law would make him leave the house where George is so comfortable and has his room and his comfort. She loves George. I have no doubt of that. Plus I doubt in this market they could sell the house. SHE would be t he one who would have to leave because she almost drove them into bankruptcy and her income won't cover the house payments and son's child support wouldn't be enough to pay for the house. Ex is pretty well off. He could do it. He also promised to help son get a good lawyer, if it comes to that. Son is still hoping to save marriage. Son got very good advice from his psychologist who is well known and promised to stick up for him in court. He told son to let daughter in law do her "healing seperateion therapy" which includes living together as though you are not together and even having other partners. He told my son she would hang herself. If she says "I no longer love you and I want out" he is to say, "Well, I still love you, and if you want to leave the marriage you will have to initiate it." If you knew her, you'd giggle. She is not very secure and this will throw her. Also, she wants him to react so that she can leave because "he is being a jerk." But he isn't being a jerk. His main goal is he doesn't want to leave the marriage because he wants to see George every day, but, if he can't, he's going to leave the marriage looking good with a lot of help on his end. There is a small chance the marrige will continue. I'm not sure J. has the guts to really leave it. From a mom's point of view, I wish my son would divorce her because she is mentally abusing him to the extreme. But I'm proud of him for taking the higher road. He refuses to fight with her. This is a young man who has many psychiatric disorders and who, like me, has to fight hard for stability. But, for the most part, like me, he does maintain stability. It's daughter in law who is acting crazy now, not him. And I thought I got to stop being THAT degree of mother when the kids turned 18 :raspberry-tounge:. I'm shocked at how emotioinal I am about this mess. [/QUOTE]
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Son threatened me emotionally and I"m so tired. Did I do the right thing?
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