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Son threatened me emotionally and I"m so tired. Did I do the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 302890" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>UPDATE!</p><p></p><p>Thanks to everyone here! I thought IL was a community property state. Thanks so much for the link.</p><p></p><p>However, now son doesn't want a divorce. It's awful at home for him, but he doesn't want to be alone. If you check my signature, you can see that he has many mental health issues himself, and has a serious social phobia. He doesn't want to be alone and thinks that if J. goes, he'll be alone forever due to his social phobia. </p><p></p><p>I'm starting to detach. It's his marriage, his situation, not mine. And I've started telling him exactly how I feel about J. and about grandson. He didn't want to hear about it and said, "I'M the one who is hurting here." I interrupted him to say that I was too and that if he didn't want to hear it, he could use somebody else to bang off of. I'm tired of that selfish attitude. This is MY grandson at risk here and I can feel badly that J. doesn't want to let me know him, and I can express it if I feel like it. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, son did call last night to wish me happy birthday, and seemed a bit more understanding. This adult child has been very me-centric most of his life and he married somebody with as many problems as he has. She is also controlling and me-centric. I have no idea how this will shake out, but I'm going to limit how often I let him complain to me about her. It would be different if he was taking action, but he's not. </p><p></p><p>I need to concentrate on hub, my three loving children, and the other things in my life. I can't save him...he is 31. And he has to start acting like it. I am wiped out. I want my retirement years to be peaceful and I won't compromise that for even my children. Maybe I've become me-centric too. I didn't start out this way, but I'm getting more and more interested in enjoying my golden years peacefully. God knows I gave every ounce I've had to all of my kids, and it's their turns to use their own resources now, right? I feel guilty just typing this...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 302890, member: 1550"] UPDATE! Thanks to everyone here! I thought IL was a community property state. Thanks so much for the link. However, now son doesn't want a divorce. It's awful at home for him, but he doesn't want to be alone. If you check my signature, you can see that he has many mental health issues himself, and has a serious social phobia. He doesn't want to be alone and thinks that if J. goes, he'll be alone forever due to his social phobia. I'm starting to detach. It's his marriage, his situation, not mine. And I've started telling him exactly how I feel about J. and about grandson. He didn't want to hear about it and said, "I'M the one who is hurting here." I interrupted him to say that I was too and that if he didn't want to hear it, he could use somebody else to bang off of. I'm tired of that selfish attitude. This is MY grandson at risk here and I can feel badly that J. doesn't want to let me know him, and I can express it if I feel like it. Anyway, son did call last night to wish me happy birthday, and seemed a bit more understanding. This adult child has been very me-centric most of his life and he married somebody with as many problems as he has. She is also controlling and me-centric. I have no idea how this will shake out, but I'm going to limit how often I let him complain to me about her. It would be different if he was taking action, but he's not. I need to concentrate on hub, my three loving children, and the other things in my life. I can't save him...he is 31. And he has to start acting like it. I am wiped out. I want my retirement years to be peaceful and I won't compromise that for even my children. Maybe I've become me-centric too. I didn't start out this way, but I'm getting more and more interested in enjoying my golden years peacefully. God knows I gave every ounce I've had to all of my kids, and it's their turns to use their own resources now, right? I feel guilty just typing this...:frowny: [/QUOTE]
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Son threatened me emotionally and I"m so tired. Did I do the right thing?
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