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sorry i'm back, i need some help (or a slap upside the head)
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<blockquote data-quote="missy44" data-source="post: 288167" data-attributes="member: 6201"><p>Okay, my difficult child is doing much better lately. For the past 2 months really. He had 2 slip ups over a month ago (smoked marijuana twice), but has recently moved home (about a month ago), started a job about 2 weeks ago, signed himself up for an outpatient program with his psyc (he works on a farm once or twice a week with the doctor and counselors and gets regular therapy sessions at least once per week), registered again for college in the fall, stays home, has a new girlfriend who is completely opposed to drugs of any sort, takes his medication everyday (celexa), helps around the house, is pleasant most of the time, has gained about 20 pounds back of the 30-40 that he lost and the list goes on...</p><p> </p><p>My problem is... everytime he leaves the house my heart stops. I think he's going to use drugs every time. The neighbours kids came over tonight to jam with my son. My son is a drummer (a very good one) and our neighbours need a drummer. The band consists of the father (he was best man at our wedding) and their son and another kid and now our difficult child. These are good, successful, people. All of their kids are in university and the parents are great people. They like to kick back and have a few drinks at times. I'm so worried that their son may smoke pot from time to time and that my difficult child will too. My difficult child just came in and said I'm going out with Andy for bit (the other boy) and I'll be back soon. I started to say "be smart" and my son stopped me and said "mom, stop, I'm not stupid".</p><p> </p><p>I know that there is nothing I can do to stop what he does, whether it's good or bad, but I hate this feeling. I don't know what I'm looking for from everyone, maybe just to know that we all feel like this at times... The problem is, now that he's doing so well, I don't know what I'll do if he slips up. Would I kick him back out? I don't think so, I'm so afraid he'll fall hard again. What should I do if he slips? I don't think I'm strong enough for it right now, I just feel that I've been through all I can handle this last year.</p><p> </p><p>I hate this. I want to trust, but over the last year he has given me zero reason to trust him. I know he's on the right path, but it hasn't been long enough for me. I praise him everyday, hug him, tell him I love him and I am so very proud, but the memories aren't fading yet.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening... again!</p><p>Missy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="missy44, post: 288167, member: 6201"] Okay, my difficult child is doing much better lately. For the past 2 months really. He had 2 slip ups over a month ago (smoked marijuana twice), but has recently moved home (about a month ago), started a job about 2 weeks ago, signed himself up for an outpatient program with his psyc (he works on a farm once or twice a week with the doctor and counselors and gets regular therapy sessions at least once per week), registered again for college in the fall, stays home, has a new girlfriend who is completely opposed to drugs of any sort, takes his medication everyday (celexa), helps around the house, is pleasant most of the time, has gained about 20 pounds back of the 30-40 that he lost and the list goes on... My problem is... everytime he leaves the house my heart stops. I think he's going to use drugs every time. The neighbours kids came over tonight to jam with my son. My son is a drummer (a very good one) and our neighbours need a drummer. The band consists of the father (he was best man at our wedding) and their son and another kid and now our difficult child. These are good, successful, people. All of their kids are in university and the parents are great people. They like to kick back and have a few drinks at times. I'm so worried that their son may smoke pot from time to time and that my difficult child will too. My difficult child just came in and said I'm going out with Andy for bit (the other boy) and I'll be back soon. I started to say "be smart" and my son stopped me and said "mom, stop, I'm not stupid". I know that there is nothing I can do to stop what he does, whether it's good or bad, but I hate this feeling. I don't know what I'm looking for from everyone, maybe just to know that we all feel like this at times... The problem is, now that he's doing so well, I don't know what I'll do if he slips up. Would I kick him back out? I don't think so, I'm so afraid he'll fall hard again. What should I do if he slips? I don't think I'm strong enough for it right now, I just feel that I've been through all I can handle this last year. I hate this. I want to trust, but over the last year he has given me zero reason to trust him. I know he's on the right path, but it hasn't been long enough for me. I praise him everyday, hug him, tell him I love him and I am so very proud, but the memories aren't fading yet. Thanks for listening... again! Missy [/QUOTE]
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