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I have posted and erased several times.


I just want to say that I think you should seek the help of medications for depression.


I was there. I couldn't shake the guilt. before I realized it I was in a very deep depression.


The medications helped me come back. I only used them for a short while, and it was trial and error to find the right one at the right dosage.


I didn't realize how bad I was affected by it until I started to get better.


But reading your post sounds like the way I was feeling. I was reaching for any explanation I could find to explain what was happening to difficult child and to my family and to myself!


The first time I saw a therapist, she wanted to hosiptalize me. That scared me enough to see that I wasn't handling the problem at all. I had to ask for help. That was hard to do. I had to admit that I couldn't control my emotions and I needed a pill to help me.


I am glad I got help, I didn't continue the drug as prescribed but I used it enough to get me out of the darkness I had surrounded myself in.


I hope you at least talk with a therapist, just get the opinion if nothing else.


I know your heart is hurting, I wish peace for you. I also understand your feelings and how hard it is to let go.


Don't you have a easy child?


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