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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 352336" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Thank you KTMom! He has not indicated any pressure from others. He doesn't know very many kids which I am finding a blessing as I see one of his friends headed toward trouble as he tries to fit into a group of kids heading toward trouble. I feel that his mom thinks he is trying to keep up with difficult child but difficult child has no interest in the direction this kid is heading and is certainly not leading the way. (I don't know if I posted about an airgun situation in which this kid told his mom that difficult child gets to carry/use whenever he wants. This is NOT true, difficult child does not and will not own an airgun. It is true however of a set up boys in the school that this kid is trying to keep up with but he uses difficult child's name to get his mom to get him things. His mom and I will be talking a lot this Summer to keep him from telling her that I allow things that I do not allow.)</p><p> </p><p>He is doing very well in school and seems to enjoy the classes. He gets home from school and on his own does him homework before anything else. This was something HE choose to do!</p><p> </p><p>The Bowling and Jr Rifle Club are mainly singles sports. Although the boy he is partnered with on Tuesday nights is considered his team partner, we watch individual scores closer for improvements. I don't remember if they gave out a team award last night at the year end party or not.</p><p> </p><p>Last night was the end of this bowling league (he goes to a Jr/Adult with his sister and her boyfriend in May and June) and the summer one starts the middle of June. There are a few more weeks left of rifle. The State Tournament is here in town on April 17th.</p><p> </p><p>Confirmation will be over in about two or three weeks and he will have one more year of it.</p><p> </p><p>Next year he will go to school with the same kids but in a brand new wing of a building. </p><p> </p><p>He is a perfectionist and nothing less then being the very best and doing something just right is acceptable to him. This is something he has to work out and will not learn without the trials he has set up for himself. He doesn't always take constructive critisizm for what it is to help guide him but often times thinks it is all about pounding it into him that he failed. So, when at rifle club the leaders say, "This is a good card - if the 5th one would have made it to the target line you would have made it on the books.", they are encouraging him to keep trying and telling him he is doing well. He only hears that he failed to get that last target and it makes him feel like a failure. He himself told me last night, "Mom, No one can have bullseyes on every shot." So, he knows, he just gets off track when he puts the year end recognition goals into his sites. Just like I am very certain he doesn't look at papers returned from teachers - he has to learn that there are lessons to be picked up through the outcome of a bad day or paper or shoot, that it does not mean you were a failure - you learn by your missed goals as well as doing things on target the first time around.</p><p> </p><p>And like so many of us, a good cry once in awhile to let out the tension does wonders. Often times in those moments, the information that is not being shared with me comes out so I can really see what the bottom line issues are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 352336, member: 5096"] Thank you KTMom! He has not indicated any pressure from others. He doesn't know very many kids which I am finding a blessing as I see one of his friends headed toward trouble as he tries to fit into a group of kids heading toward trouble. I feel that his mom thinks he is trying to keep up with difficult child but difficult child has no interest in the direction this kid is heading and is certainly not leading the way. (I don't know if I posted about an airgun situation in which this kid told his mom that difficult child gets to carry/use whenever he wants. This is NOT true, difficult child does not and will not own an airgun. It is true however of a set up boys in the school that this kid is trying to keep up with but he uses difficult child's name to get his mom to get him things. His mom and I will be talking a lot this Summer to keep him from telling her that I allow things that I do not allow.) He is doing very well in school and seems to enjoy the classes. He gets home from school and on his own does him homework before anything else. This was something HE choose to do! The Bowling and Jr Rifle Club are mainly singles sports. Although the boy he is partnered with on Tuesday nights is considered his team partner, we watch individual scores closer for improvements. I don't remember if they gave out a team award last night at the year end party or not. Last night was the end of this bowling league (he goes to a Jr/Adult with his sister and her boyfriend in May and June) and the summer one starts the middle of June. There are a few more weeks left of rifle. The State Tournament is here in town on April 17th. Confirmation will be over in about two or three weeks and he will have one more year of it. Next year he will go to school with the same kids but in a brand new wing of a building. He is a perfectionist and nothing less then being the very best and doing something just right is acceptable to him. This is something he has to work out and will not learn without the trials he has set up for himself. He doesn't always take constructive critisizm for what it is to help guide him but often times thinks it is all about pounding it into him that he failed. So, when at rifle club the leaders say, "This is a good card - if the 5th one would have made it to the target line you would have made it on the books.", they are encouraging him to keep trying and telling him he is doing well. He only hears that he failed to get that last target and it makes him feel like a failure. He himself told me last night, "Mom, No one can have bullseyes on every shot." So, he knows, he just gets off track when he puts the year end recognition goals into his sites. Just like I am very certain he doesn't look at papers returned from teachers - he has to learn that there are lessons to be picked up through the outcome of a bad day or paper or shoot, that it does not mean you were a failure - you learn by your missed goals as well as doing things on target the first time around. And like so many of us, a good cry once in awhile to let out the tension does wonders. Often times in those moments, the information that is not being shared with me comes out so I can really see what the bottom line issues are. [/QUOTE]
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