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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 764933" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Dear Copa, </p><p>I’m glad you did not lose yourself. I too think I lost myself when I had the psychotic breakdown and found out I had bipolar disorder. This after a year of panic attacks that would take me to the floor crying hysterically. And then of course all the previous years of severe depression. </p><p></p><p>I lived for my children. They were my soul purpose for being on this earth. When my sons started using drugs I took it very personally. As though I had ultimately failed as a mother and a person. I was dying inside as you say. </p><p></p><p>I thought it was my responsibility to save my sons. Just as most of us here understand. </p><p>I actually thought I could. If only I listened to them harder, gave them enough love attention money provision. As long as I met all their wants and needs they would somehow turn out okay. </p><p></p><p>I was wrong. </p><p></p><p>I lost a son within a year after I finally put up a boundary. Telling him don’t call me for 6 months. Get your life together. Get sober and off drugs. I love you. Goodbye </p><p></p><p>But then when 6 months was up he still wasn’t any better and I resorted to my former self thinking I could save him. I was so close to getting him back home when he died. </p><p></p><p>I really believe now that God almighty intervened and had had enough. That it was time for my son to be called to his real home. And for me to be given a break. </p><p></p><p>Sad isn’t it. Sad that what I have now is a break from the reality that once was. But I am no longer living for my son. Now I am living for myself and my grandchildren. Their prospects are better since they are not involved with drugs and likely never will be after all they’ve suffered because of their parent’s use of drugs. </p><p></p><p>My son’s story is over. I feel like I am getting a new lease on my life. Maybe I learned some things along the way. And like New Leaf and Copa maybe I can share what I’ve learned and it may benefit a fellow desperate parent out here. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and love, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 764933, member: 3305"] Dear Copa, I’m glad you did not lose yourself. I too think I lost myself when I had the psychotic breakdown and found out I had bipolar disorder. This after a year of panic attacks that would take me to the floor crying hysterically. And then of course all the previous years of severe depression. I lived for my children. They were my soul purpose for being on this earth. When my sons started using drugs I took it very personally. As though I had ultimately failed as a mother and a person. I was dying inside as you say. I thought it was my responsibility to save my sons. Just as most of us here understand. I actually thought I could. If only I listened to them harder, gave them enough love attention money provision. As long as I met all their wants and needs they would somehow turn out okay. I was wrong. I lost a son within a year after I finally put up a boundary. Telling him don’t call me for 6 months. Get your life together. Get sober and off drugs. I love you. Goodbye But then when 6 months was up he still wasn’t any better and I resorted to my former self thinking I could save him. I was so close to getting him back home when he died. I really believe now that God almighty intervened and had had enough. That it was time for my son to be called to his real home. And for me to be given a break. Sad isn’t it. Sad that what I have now is a break from the reality that once was. But I am no longer living for my son. Now I am living for myself and my grandchildren. Their prospects are better since they are not involved with drugs and likely never will be after all they’ve suffered because of their parent’s use of drugs. My son’s story is over. I feel like I am getting a new lease on my life. Maybe I learned some things along the way. And like New Leaf and Copa maybe I can share what I’ve learned and it may benefit a fellow desperate parent out here. Hugs and love, LMS [/QUOTE]
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