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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Starting to cave..
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 749351" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Don't pay the bill. To me it seems you want to do it to be certain he will stay in contact with you. That should not be the basis for your relationship. In my experience it is best to stay in your lane and let him stay in his. By that I mean take him off of your cell phone plan, as it's one more way to feed the beast that is your codependency on this relationship. Read books, articles, etc. on codependency and enabling. Then focus yourself on YOU! You deserve a happy, healthy life free from the stress of your difficult adult son. Take yourself to a movie, take a hike, buy fancy coloring stuff and color. Do whatever you feel like doing that will help you stay busy, focused on yourself and will make you feel good. I know how incredibly difficult this is, especially when you first start doing it. But I promise if you practice detachment over time you find it truly does make your life better. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 749351, member: 11235"] Don't pay the bill. To me it seems you want to do it to be certain he will stay in contact with you. That should not be the basis for your relationship. In my experience it is best to stay in your lane and let him stay in his. By that I mean take him off of your cell phone plan, as it's one more way to feed the beast that is your codependency on this relationship. Read books, articles, etc. on codependency and enabling. Then focus yourself on YOU! You deserve a happy, healthy life free from the stress of your difficult adult son. Take yourself to a movie, take a hike, buy fancy coloring stuff and color. Do whatever you feel like doing that will help you stay busy, focused on yourself and will make you feel good. I know how incredibly difficult this is, especially when you first start doing it. But I promise if you practice detachment over time you find it truly does make your life better. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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