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Substance Abuse
Staying detached while tethered....
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 687921" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Copa and Sisters:</p><p></p><p>Kind of responding to both posts because they are somewhat entwined and in no particular order.</p><p></p><p>I agree - we only will pay for sober living period. And we have never implied to him that we'd pay for anything else. We did think we could reevaluate after one year to see where he is mentally/emotionally.</p><p></p><p>I feel that we would pay for one semester of community college while he is in sober living IF we feel that is the right thing to do in another 2 months or around the time he needs to enroll. Hoping that by him being in sober living he will have the accountability needed to SEE he can do it sober like he sees he can do work sober. Of course if this is not successful we are back at square one. But then at least we'll know.</p><p></p><p>He has a 504 Plan for his anxiety. He has an above average IQ I was told during testing; so no serious mental health issues but obviously something is wrong and maybe it's just addiction. He's not off the charts smart or anything.</p><p></p><p>Sisters they were relapses. I'll agree with you on that. My mother was a binge drinker so that is kind of where I got that word I guess. She was an alcoholic but did it in binges.</p><p></p><p>I guess the reason why we are handling him the way we are while there is because this is our first go at this and we are doing the best we can/what we think is the right thing. Everyone says be supportive of their sobriety and he is sober for a little over 3 months and doing better than he has in five years. That said there are things he could be doing better at as previously stated. I am not thinking he is doing this to piss us off but maybe he thinks he IS doing what we want and/or doesn't understand how to do what we want. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>I don't really see him as independent because we are paying for his housing. To me independence is us not giving him any funding but only emotional support. He is very sly and manipulative. He is pushing buttons to see "what door may open" with us but so far no doors are opening. It was a wake up call for me when he told his therapist "my parents will figure it out". It's like he's throwing <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> on the wall to see what sticks.</p><p></p><p>I truly appreciate your honesty and support. I am trying to figure this all out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 687921, member: 15032"] Copa and Sisters: Kind of responding to both posts because they are somewhat entwined and in no particular order. I agree - we only will pay for sober living period. And we have never implied to him that we'd pay for anything else. We did think we could reevaluate after one year to see where he is mentally/emotionally. I feel that we would pay for one semester of community college while he is in sober living IF we feel that is the right thing to do in another 2 months or around the time he needs to enroll. Hoping that by him being in sober living he will have the accountability needed to SEE he can do it sober like he sees he can do work sober. Of course if this is not successful we are back at square one. But then at least we'll know. He has a 504 Plan for his anxiety. He has an above average IQ I was told during testing; so no serious mental health issues but obviously something is wrong and maybe it's just addiction. He's not off the charts smart or anything. Sisters they were relapses. I'll agree with you on that. My mother was a binge drinker so that is kind of where I got that word I guess. She was an alcoholic but did it in binges. I guess the reason why we are handling him the way we are while there is because this is our first go at this and we are doing the best we can/what we think is the right thing. Everyone says be supportive of their sobriety and he is sober for a little over 3 months and doing better than he has in five years. That said there are things he could be doing better at as previously stated. I am not thinking he is doing this to piss us off but maybe he thinks he IS doing what we want and/or doesn't understand how to do what we want. I don't know. I don't really see him as independent because we are paying for his housing. To me independence is us not giving him any funding but only emotional support. He is very sly and manipulative. He is pushing buttons to see "what door may open" with us but so far no doors are opening. It was a wake up call for me when he told his therapist "my parents will figure it out". It's like he's throwing :censored2: on the wall to see what sticks. I truly appreciate your honesty and support. I am trying to figure this all out. [/QUOTE]
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