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Step daughter problems
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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 251092" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Hi Michelle,</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our board. I'm sorry your step-daughter was raped, and at such a young age. You are right to be concerned for her and your other children. Your step-daughter <em><strong>needs</strong></em> to be in therapy with a therapist that specialized in child victims of sexual assault. The masturbation is a clear sign that she is still suffering. I had a child like this in my ED classroom years ago. We were able to get the touching to stop with planned ignoring and substitute behaviors. <strong><em>Planned Ignoring</em></strong> Telling her to stop touching herself does convey to her what she is doing wrong but it may also convey to her that the adults she needs to trust think she is dirty and it does not tell her what to do instead. Do not comment on this behavior again. Let the therapist work with it. But clealy you can't just let her walk around with her hands down her pants. That is where substitute activities come into play. <strong><em>Substitute Activities</em></strong> Hopefully she enjoys some other activities or treats and they can be used to mold her behavior while she is in therapy to deal with it. Have her wear clothes that make it more difficult to get her hands in her pants. When you or the teachers see her hands creeping towards her pants, do not comment on it (she knows it is wrong, no need to tell her again) and immediately engage her in an activity that makes touching herself impossible (hanging from the monkey bars, playing with playdough, stringing beads, anything that she needs two hands to do. Praise her for doing a good job with the activity (do not praise her for not touching herself -- remember you are ignoring that).</p><p></p><p>As far as the other children go, your step-daughter needs to have her own bedroom. Her play with the other children should be supervised -- this can be done in such a way that she doesn't feel punished, just play with them or work in the room they are playing in. </p><p></p><p>You do not mention how old or the gender of your other step-child. Sometimes in cases of child sexual abuse, the children will reenact it. Is that possibly happening?? </p><p></p><p>Recovering from child sexual abuse is a long road but thankfully she has you now to help her. Hopefully something I said will help, otherwise there are many families on this board that will have lots of good advice and you will find what you need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 251092, member: 1169"] Hi Michelle, Welcome to our board. I'm sorry your step-daughter was raped, and at such a young age. You are right to be concerned for her and your other children. Your step-daughter [I][B]needs[/B][/I] to be in therapy with a therapist that specialized in child victims of sexual assault. The masturbation is a clear sign that she is still suffering. I had a child like this in my ED classroom years ago. We were able to get the touching to stop with planned ignoring and substitute behaviors. [B][I]Planned Ignoring[/I][/B] Telling her to stop touching herself does convey to her what she is doing wrong but it may also convey to her that the adults she needs to trust think she is dirty and it does not tell her what to do instead. Do not comment on this behavior again. Let the therapist work with it. But clealy you can't just let her walk around with her hands down her pants. That is where substitute activities come into play. [B][I]Substitute Activities[/I][/B][I][/I] Hopefully she enjoys some other activities or treats and they can be used to mold her behavior while she is in therapy to deal with it. Have her wear clothes that make it more difficult to get her hands in her pants. When you or the teachers see her hands creeping towards her pants, do not comment on it (she knows it is wrong, no need to tell her again) and immediately engage her in an activity that makes touching herself impossible (hanging from the monkey bars, playing with playdough, stringing beads, anything that she needs two hands to do. Praise her for doing a good job with the activity (do not praise her for not touching herself -- remember you are ignoring that). As far as the other children go, your step-daughter needs to have her own bedroom. Her play with the other children should be supervised -- this can be done in such a way that she doesn't feel punished, just play with them or work in the room they are playing in. You do not mention how old or the gender of your other step-child. Sometimes in cases of child sexual abuse, the children will reenact it. Is that possibly happening?? Recovering from child sexual abuse is a long road but thankfully she has you now to help her. Hopefully something I said will help, otherwise there are many families on this board that will have lots of good advice and you will find what you need. [/QUOTE]
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