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Step daughter problems
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 251106" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>JJJ is absolutely right, please get your SD into counseling with someone who specializes in counseling for children who have been sexually abused. I have a similar situation with my SD although the presentation of issues is very different.</p><p> </p><p>Also something to keep in mind... At 9, she's getting towards the age where "normal" (I use quotes because I'm still not sure what it means) kids start to move into puberty. She's probably got a couple of years at least, but she's been sexualized early. All kids touch themselves. Also, masturbation isn't a bad thing - it's just not something anyone should do in public! (There's a time and place.)</p><p> </p><p>With my SD, I have noticed lately that she just wants someone to listen to her talk. Not necessarily about what happened to her. Since it is pretty obvious from your post that her mother isn't an option, maybe you can listen. You don't have to sit down in a quiet room, either, unless she asks! difficult child will work on homework or a puzzle at the table while I cook, or pay bills, or draw - and we talk about EVERYTHING. This is a far cry from only a couple of months ago. It also helps because she trusts me now, since I give her my opinion or stories about what happened to me when I was 13. Also keep in mind that you don't want to single out any one child for favoritism... However... Fair does NOT mean equal and just because you spend 30 minutes with one child doesn't mean it's horrible to spend 35 with another and 20 with another... It's what you do that counts.</p><p> </p><p>Last (for this post), I'm glad you found this board - it has helped me more than I can say and I've only been here about 6 weeks!!! {{{Hugs}}} and prayers for you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 251106, member: 6705"] JJJ is absolutely right, please get your SD into counseling with someone who specializes in counseling for children who have been sexually abused. I have a similar situation with my SD although the presentation of issues is very different. Also something to keep in mind... At 9, she's getting towards the age where "normal" (I use quotes because I'm still not sure what it means) kids start to move into puberty. She's probably got a couple of years at least, but she's been sexualized early. All kids touch themselves. Also, masturbation isn't a bad thing - it's just not something anyone should do in public! (There's a time and place.) With my SD, I have noticed lately that she just wants someone to listen to her talk. Not necessarily about what happened to her. Since it is pretty obvious from your post that her mother isn't an option, maybe you can listen. You don't have to sit down in a quiet room, either, unless she asks! difficult child will work on homework or a puzzle at the table while I cook, or pay bills, or draw - and we talk about EVERYTHING. This is a far cry from only a couple of months ago. It also helps because she trusts me now, since I give her my opinion or stories about what happened to me when I was 13. Also keep in mind that you don't want to single out any one child for favoritism... However... Fair does NOT mean equal and just because you spend 30 minutes with one child doesn't mean it's horrible to spend 35 with another and 20 with another... It's what you do that counts. Last (for this post), I'm glad you found this board - it has helped me more than I can say and I've only been here about 6 weeks!!! {{{Hugs}}} and prayers for you! [/QUOTE]
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