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Step Daughter Stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Marty Gilroy" data-source="post: 697290" data-attributes="member: 20650"><p>Thanks to you both very much! My husband advised that his middle daughter was never told about having Asperger Syndrome and as a child/teenager, yet she wondered why her brother & sister had so many friends, while she had zilch. Thus, she was never treated for autism as a child or teenager. We searched for therapists who know and treat people with Aspergers, but there was no one with this skill set where she went to college.</p><p></p><p>He & I met with an MFCC who works with people with Aspergers to discuss our concerns, fears, etc. about the middle daughter coming home, again, this summer. With much reluctance, middle daughter met with the therapist 2-3 times. S he liked the therapist very much, but said she didn't need her. She (daughter) is just fine, thank you very much. She's an adult now and doesn't need to meet with a therapist. Unfortunately, my husband agreed to abide by her decision much to my chagrin.</p><p></p><p>I feel like an outsider to this family, even though he moved into my home. I suppose it's best to keep distance from any of his family drama, but she's not stealing from him. She's stealing from me - and I underscored that to him recently. Also, the stress of having his daughter live with us sent both of us into a tailspin over the summer. I asked him to have her live with family somewhere else. He didn't want to do this, but I insisted that I will only live in a marriage with integrity. If he wants to threaten to leave, then go! So, he left & middle daughter, as well. She was gone for a week, while he was gone one night.</p><p></p><p>FWIW, my husband's sister is living with a man she doesn't get along with at all and has been married twice before. She keeps her third man around until their son graduates high school & starts college, then plans to send him on his way. I know its nit-picking, but my in-laws were married once prior to each other and has never mentioned this to their children. My husband and sister in law learned this from a family member. For me, relationships, communication and/or conflict resolution are not the strong points with this family ... and here we are, husband & me.</p><p></p><p>I will think about your sound advice, re: look up the booze. in my opinion, she'll just steal something else. She stole or tossed in the trash the wine bottle opener I got from my Dad after he died. It's now gone. To me, she's acting out with me. Dad is the "good" parent and I'm the unwelcome addition to the family. For me, things have to change or I'm sending him packing. She's simply the object of family dis-function and my husband won't talk about it, despite my repeated requests. Feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home.</p><p></p><p>Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! It helps so much!</p><p></p><p>Signed,</p><p>Between a rock and a hard place (Marty)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marty Gilroy, post: 697290, member: 20650"] Thanks to you both very much! My husband advised that his middle daughter was never told about having Asperger Syndrome and as a child/teenager, yet she wondered why her brother & sister had so many friends, while she had zilch. Thus, she was never treated for autism as a child or teenager. We searched for therapists who know and treat people with Aspergers, but there was no one with this skill set where she went to college. He & I met with an MFCC who works with people with Aspergers to discuss our concerns, fears, etc. about the middle daughter coming home, again, this summer. With much reluctance, middle daughter met with the therapist 2-3 times. S he liked the therapist very much, but said she didn't need her. She (daughter) is just fine, thank you very much. She's an adult now and doesn't need to meet with a therapist. Unfortunately, my husband agreed to abide by her decision much to my chagrin. I feel like an outsider to this family, even though he moved into my home. I suppose it's best to keep distance from any of his family drama, but she's not stealing from him. She's stealing from me - and I underscored that to him recently. Also, the stress of having his daughter live with us sent both of us into a tailspin over the summer. I asked him to have her live with family somewhere else. He didn't want to do this, but I insisted that I will only live in a marriage with integrity. If he wants to threaten to leave, then go! So, he left & middle daughter, as well. She was gone for a week, while he was gone one night. FWIW, my husband's sister is living with a man she doesn't get along with at all and has been married twice before. She keeps her third man around until their son graduates high school & starts college, then plans to send him on his way. I know its nit-picking, but my in-laws were married once prior to each other and has never mentioned this to their children. My husband and sister in law learned this from a family member. For me, relationships, communication and/or conflict resolution are not the strong points with this family ... and here we are, husband & me. I will think about your sound advice, re: look up the booze. in my opinion, she'll just steal something else. She stole or tossed in the trash the wine bottle opener I got from my Dad after he died. It's now gone. To me, she's acting out with me. Dad is the "good" parent and I'm the unwelcome addition to the family. For me, things have to change or I'm sending him packing. She's simply the object of family dis-function and my husband won't talk about it, despite my repeated requests. Feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! It helps so much! Signed, Between a rock and a hard place (Marty) [/QUOTE]
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