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step daughter!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Rannveig" data-source="post: 338648" data-attributes="member: 5689"><p>Can you talk about all this in a calm way with your husband? It sounds like this is a difficult situation for absolutely all involved. But, at the end of the day, you and your husband are adults, and everyone else is just a child who didn't choose to be in this situation. If your husband's ex- were out of the picture, these would be your full-time daughters, right? So you might spend all of every weekend with the eight-year-old and be all the little girl had. And you'd step up, right, 'cause you'd want someone to do the same for your bio-kids? So I think you have to look at it like that. The 15-year-old may be going through a nasty phase, but she's yours. You may work all week (and I know how that is because I do, too), but the eight-year-old is yours, too. So you spend all the time needed, even if you'd rather curl up with a book. That said, you still need to discuss what's reasonable with your husband, just as you would if these were your shared bio-kids. And, of course, you have a right to expect that your stepdaughter will behave decently toward your bio-kids, and there need to be consequences if she mistreats them, just as if she were their bio-sibling.</p><p></p><p>I hope I don't sound too harsh. It's just that your issues sound a bit like some issues I have, with a moody teen and a husband who doesn't always do his share (in my humble opinion!). So I don't think it's helpful when things get tough to say it's your husband's sole responsibility, any more than that would be helpful in my own situation.</p><p></p><p>All the best to you,</p><p>Ranny</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rannveig, post: 338648, member: 5689"] Can you talk about all this in a calm way with your husband? It sounds like this is a difficult situation for absolutely all involved. But, at the end of the day, you and your husband are adults, and everyone else is just a child who didn't choose to be in this situation. If your husband's ex- were out of the picture, these would be your full-time daughters, right? So you might spend all of every weekend with the eight-year-old and be all the little girl had. And you'd step up, right, 'cause you'd want someone to do the same for your bio-kids? So I think you have to look at it like that. The 15-year-old may be going through a nasty phase, but she's yours. You may work all week (and I know how that is because I do, too), but the eight-year-old is yours, too. So you spend all the time needed, even if you'd rather curl up with a book. That said, you still need to discuss what's reasonable with your husband, just as you would if these were your shared bio-kids. And, of course, you have a right to expect that your stepdaughter will behave decently toward your bio-kids, and there need to be consequences if she mistreats them, just as if she were their bio-sibling. I hope I don't sound too harsh. It's just that your issues sound a bit like some issues I have, with a moody teen and a husband who doesn't always do his share (in my humble opinion!). So I don't think it's helpful when things get tough to say it's your husband's sole responsibility, any more than that would be helpful in my own situation. All the best to you, Ranny [/QUOTE]
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