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step daughter!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 340948" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Teenage stepdaughters are, let's face it, a royal PITA.</p><p> </p><p>Mine accepted me as Dad's girlfriend, fiancee, and wife. Bio mom however caused all kinds of provlems for husband. Still does. And due to the stories she told Onyxx, at times we had problems with her. Rarely major, just aggravations really.</p><p> </p><p>Until the kids' little sister died. Bio mom got weirder then. And about a year after that, she began dating her now husband. Who, as it turned out, had a thing for Onyxx. After this began, the behavior got truly awful. And then - bio mom lost residential, and that's when things got really really bad. I think Onyxx subconsciously hoped we would rescue her. Unfortunately we had no idea what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>After a crazy episode in which Onyxx returned from a visit with bio mom, then got horribly violent, she was arrested, released back to us, and the next day placed in a short-term facility (for less than a week). The last day - when husband was getting her out - we got the call from Childrens' Services about what bio mom's boyfriend had been doing to Onyxx. All the puzzle pieces suddenly fell into place.</p><p> </p><p>Onyxx has not been on an overnight visit since (almost 15 months now), and at the end of last February when bio mom took boyfriend's side and said Onyxx was lying... Onyxx saw what had been happening all along... And has not visited since. (Well, once last April, at which time bio mom threatened her, and agreed to go last July; I was there and bio mom grabbed her and tried to drag her off to "talk", leaving bruises on her arm. <em>I</em> denied that visit!)</p><p> </p><p>Jett has informed us that, at mommy's, Onyxx does not exist, she is dead.</p><p> </p><p>No wonder we have issues. But all of this is to point out - that while this is probably NOT your situation - there may be more. Bio mom <em>may</em> resent you - and this would translate to SD resenting you as well. Jett has developmental issues, which were originally diagnosed as ADHD; he's a few years younger and much more resilient.</p><p> </p><p>The fact is - it IS your home; she IS your stepdaughter; husband desperately NEEDS to back you up. All the rules should apply equally to everyone living in the house who is a) not an adult and b) if an adult, contributes equally.</p><p> </p><p>Sit down with husband, figure out the rules that apply to everyone, and tell him you need him at your back. Then have HIM tell his children, and YOU tell yours.</p><p> </p><p>...Now that I know this, I wish I'd put it in place years ago.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 340948, member: 6705"] Teenage stepdaughters are, let's face it, a royal PITA. Mine accepted me as Dad's girlfriend, fiancee, and wife. Bio mom however caused all kinds of provlems for husband. Still does. And due to the stories she told Onyxx, at times we had problems with her. Rarely major, just aggravations really. Until the kids' little sister died. Bio mom got weirder then. And about a year after that, she began dating her now husband. Who, as it turned out, had a thing for Onyxx. After this began, the behavior got truly awful. And then - bio mom lost residential, and that's when things got really really bad. I think Onyxx subconsciously hoped we would rescue her. Unfortunately we had no idea what was going on. After a crazy episode in which Onyxx returned from a visit with bio mom, then got horribly violent, she was arrested, released back to us, and the next day placed in a short-term facility (for less than a week). The last day - when husband was getting her out - we got the call from Childrens' Services about what bio mom's boyfriend had been doing to Onyxx. All the puzzle pieces suddenly fell into place. Onyxx has not been on an overnight visit since (almost 15 months now), and at the end of last February when bio mom took boyfriend's side and said Onyxx was lying... Onyxx saw what had been happening all along... And has not visited since. (Well, once last April, at which time bio mom threatened her, and agreed to go last July; I was there and bio mom grabbed her and tried to drag her off to "talk", leaving bruises on her arm. [I]I[/I] denied that visit!) Jett has informed us that, at mommy's, Onyxx does not exist, she is dead. No wonder we have issues. But all of this is to point out - that while this is probably NOT your situation - there may be more. Bio mom [I]may[/I] resent you - and this would translate to SD resenting you as well. Jett has developmental issues, which were originally diagnosed as ADHD; he's a few years younger and much more resilient. The fact is - it IS your home; she IS your stepdaughter; husband desperately NEEDS to back you up. All the rules should apply equally to everyone living in the house who is a) not an adult and b) if an adult, contributes equally. Sit down with husband, figure out the rules that apply to everyone, and tell him you need him at your back. Then have HIM tell his children, and YOU tell yours. ...Now that I know this, I wish I'd put it in place years ago. [/QUOTE]
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