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step daughter!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 347113" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>For me, a dealbreaker would be him wanting me to do things one way but him refusing to reciprocate equally. such insistence would tell me that he does not understand the 'relativity' of the situation. You gave money to his daughter - make it clear (nicely) that you are apologising for doing this, she is HIs responsibility and any money given to her has to come from him. Similarly, any money to your son must come from you (unless your incomes/expenditures are not equal). Similarly - you will make an effort to greet his daughter politely on arrival (even if she responds rudely) and he must greet your son politely on arrival. Whatever is required of you towards his daughter, must be required of your husband towards your son. Any variation from this - dealbreaker.</p><p></p><p>Her manner of response and behaviour, coupled with his 'protection' of her and apparent appeasement - it is codependent, it is doing absolutely nothing to teach her ow to treat you politely. He is letting her get away with this bad behaviour and what is more, he is modelling the same behaviour towards you, for her to learn from his example.</p><p></p><p>I would be giving up on 'family holiday' and going away separately. Let him spend intense one on one time with his daughter without you (or anyone else) to buffer him or for him to blame, and see what his attitude is.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 347113, member: 1991"] For me, a dealbreaker would be him wanting me to do things one way but him refusing to reciprocate equally. such insistence would tell me that he does not understand the 'relativity' of the situation. You gave money to his daughter - make it clear (nicely) that you are apologising for doing this, she is HIs responsibility and any money given to her has to come from him. Similarly, any money to your son must come from you (unless your incomes/expenditures are not equal). Similarly - you will make an effort to greet his daughter politely on arrival (even if she responds rudely) and he must greet your son politely on arrival. Whatever is required of you towards his daughter, must be required of your husband towards your son. Any variation from this - dealbreaker. Her manner of response and behaviour, coupled with his 'protection' of her and apparent appeasement - it is codependent, it is doing absolutely nothing to teach her ow to treat you politely. He is letting her get away with this bad behaviour and what is more, he is modelling the same behaviour towards you, for her to learn from his example. I would be giving up on 'family holiday' and going away separately. Let him spend intense one on one time with his daughter without you (or anyone else) to buffer him or for him to blame, and see what his attitude is. Marg [/QUOTE]
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