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Step difficult child's diagnosis
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 198397" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Oh Daiseylover........HUGS. </p><p>I know the 6 lost years hurt...I wound up estranged from my family due to my family buying into the my husband was simply a lazy jerk.....and I stood beside my husband becuz prior to everything blowing up in our face with husband, he WAS absolutely the most wonderful man I have even still ever met. Then my mom got sick, (same time my sons eye injury occured) and mom was SO sick, and I was so devastated......I finally ignored my family protests of me being there. And yes, the lost years hurt so very bad. Yes, now you can do whatever you can to not permit such a thing from happening again.....but, you did not have a crystal ball......and it is so possible it was this chiari that caused some of those symptoms and problems etc 6 yrs ago etc. It IS sad...but go forward from now. </p><p></p><p>As for the Agent Orange? Whew, had I had ANY inkling BEFORE we had the kids and my 14 miscarriages along the way? Hmmmm.....certainly might have changed things. I had NO clue until AFTER our 3 kids were born. And of course there was so much coverup involved re AO. And.there still is. BUT spina bifida is one documented and compensable health issue in offspring of those exposed to AO. I do not think it takes a huge leap to wonder about chiari.....or......Travis' health issues of my difficult children health issues. ANd if you can access reports and observations etc from other countries and AO effects? It seems to me that AO can be a cause for a huge variety of problems. And becuz of how docs etc handled first my husband illnesses....and then my difficult children and then my sons......irregardless of tangible concrete evidences etc.......whew. People seem to prefer to simply blame all kinds of things on willful behaviors....or crummy parenting or whatever- and people want a quick fix cure for everything.....and then to get to the cure faster, will just make this jump from oh this kids behavior is a tad different--- toss some pills.and blame the parents and or kids......</p><p>OK, I am cynical. Yeah. I know I am. 20+ years of struggling all by myelf, coping day to day minute to minute with DHs issues, difficult children issues, sons issues, haveing a normal middle child (¿what's normal?) and my own health issues? Being blamed for so many weird things every step of the way....being dismissed, brushed off, ignored, etc..yeah, it has made me cynical. and it just never ceases to blow me away that here my husband was a Marine doing solo recon, 13 YEARS in Nam......and when his symptoms began docs tried to call it lazy jerk? Or when my son was haveing atypical seizures, and even PCAs could not get him to walk or toilet train, it was "crummy parenting"? and their "fix" for it was to want to give my son antipsychotics?? - it made me so cynical. </p><p>And then to LATER find more articles re AO? whew. it was hard, rough, caused me great anguish. Did the AO really destroy my husband mind, emotions body and soul? Cause us extreme severe financial hardship- cause my kids to grow with basically only a drooling psychotic dad? Cause me to lose MY family? Cause brain defects in my kids that caused THEM to no longer be able to be in public school education system? Overstress me and cause my Lupus and RA to take such a strong hold? Truth is due to my research, I DO now blame Agent Orange for most of these things. MY strong healthy intelligent husband was a healthy 18 yr old, and went to Nam and.......this is what we get back. Along with all those heartbreaking miscarriages, too. </p><p></p><p>BUT.......</p><p></p><p>The last couple years........I have been trying so hard........</p><p></p><p>Life has no gurantees and we cannot change the past. Life can be brutally unfair.......but, we have right now, today. </p><p>You have RIGHT NOW. Seize it. Make the best of it. Treasure it. I am so very very very happy you have this reconnection. If your husband cannot reconnect, well....might not be a lot you can do about it. My heart aches for you for all the difficulties..but my heart sings for joy for this reconnection.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 198397, member: 1697"] Oh Daiseylover........HUGS. I know the 6 lost years hurt...I wound up estranged from my family due to my family buying into the my husband was simply a lazy jerk.....and I stood beside my husband becuz prior to everything blowing up in our face with husband, he WAS absolutely the most wonderful man I have even still ever met. Then my mom got sick, (same time my sons eye injury occured) and mom was SO sick, and I was so devastated......I finally ignored my family protests of me being there. And yes, the lost years hurt so very bad. Yes, now you can do whatever you can to not permit such a thing from happening again.....but, you did not have a crystal ball......and it is so possible it was this chiari that caused some of those symptoms and problems etc 6 yrs ago etc. It IS sad...but go forward from now. As for the Agent Orange? Whew, had I had ANY inkling BEFORE we had the kids and my 14 miscarriages along the way? Hmmmm.....certainly might have changed things. I had NO clue until AFTER our 3 kids were born. And of course there was so much coverup involved re AO. And.there still is. BUT spina bifida is one documented and compensable health issue in offspring of those exposed to AO. I do not think it takes a huge leap to wonder about chiari.....or......Travis' health issues of my difficult children health issues. ANd if you can access reports and observations etc from other countries and AO effects? It seems to me that AO can be a cause for a huge variety of problems. And becuz of how docs etc handled first my husband illnesses....and then my difficult children and then my sons......irregardless of tangible concrete evidences etc.......whew. People seem to prefer to simply blame all kinds of things on willful behaviors....or crummy parenting or whatever- and people want a quick fix cure for everything.....and then to get to the cure faster, will just make this jump from oh this kids behavior is a tad different--- toss some pills.and blame the parents and or kids...... OK, I am cynical. Yeah. I know I am. 20+ years of struggling all by myelf, coping day to day minute to minute with DHs issues, difficult children issues, sons issues, haveing a normal middle child (¿what's normal?) and my own health issues? Being blamed for so many weird things every step of the way....being dismissed, brushed off, ignored, etc..yeah, it has made me cynical. and it just never ceases to blow me away that here my husband was a Marine doing solo recon, 13 YEARS in Nam......and when his symptoms began docs tried to call it lazy jerk? Or when my son was haveing atypical seizures, and even PCAs could not get him to walk or toilet train, it was "crummy parenting"? and their "fix" for it was to want to give my son antipsychotics?? - it made me so cynical. And then to LATER find more articles re AO? whew. it was hard, rough, caused me great anguish. Did the AO really destroy my husband mind, emotions body and soul? Cause us extreme severe financial hardship- cause my kids to grow with basically only a drooling psychotic dad? Cause me to lose MY family? Cause brain defects in my kids that caused THEM to no longer be able to be in public school education system? Overstress me and cause my Lupus and RA to take such a strong hold? Truth is due to my research, I DO now blame Agent Orange for most of these things. MY strong healthy intelligent husband was a healthy 18 yr old, and went to Nam and.......this is what we get back. Along with all those heartbreaking miscarriages, too. BUT....... The last couple years........I have been trying so hard........ Life has no gurantees and we cannot change the past. Life can be brutally unfair.......but, we have right now, today. You have RIGHT NOW. Seize it. Make the best of it. Treasure it. I am so very very very happy you have this reconnection. If your husband cannot reconnect, well....might not be a lot you can do about it. My heart aches for you for all the difficulties..but my heart sings for joy for this reconnection. [/QUOTE]
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