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Substance Abuse
Stepdaughter draining us!
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 630404" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Have you said this to your husband? What is his response? What is he afraid will happen if he stops the flow of money? H and I have 5 children between us. Happy blended families need to be based on fairness and equality (you know this anyway). Your husband may be worried that he will lose his daughter's love if he stops the flow of money, but what about his other children and their perception of unfairness? Is his attitude based on the past maybe, does he feel that he abandoned her when he left her mother, are his actions based on guilt?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He has to reach this understanding himself. You have to prioritise yourself and your youngest child. If I was in this position, especially if my step-daughter was living in the house with us, then I would consider leaving until the situation was made more healthy and I would tell my husband that I was considering this. He needs to understand that, although he is worried about losing one daughter, continuing in his current path could end up with him losing his youngest child as well as his wife. </p><p></p><p>I read a few good books about step-parenting. One I would recommend is "The courage to be a step-mom. - How to find your place without losing yourself". It focusses on your needs and your rights and finding the strength to not be sucked into unhealthy relationships between spouses and their children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 630404, member: 17650"] Have you said this to your husband? What is his response? What is he afraid will happen if he stops the flow of money? H and I have 5 children between us. Happy blended families need to be based on fairness and equality (you know this anyway). Your husband may be worried that he will lose his daughter's love if he stops the flow of money, but what about his other children and their perception of unfairness? Is his attitude based on the past maybe, does he feel that he abandoned her when he left her mother, are his actions based on guilt? He has to reach this understanding himself. You have to prioritise yourself and your youngest child. If I was in this position, especially if my step-daughter was living in the house with us, then I would consider leaving until the situation was made more healthy and I would tell my husband that I was considering this. He needs to understand that, although he is worried about losing one daughter, continuing in his current path could end up with him losing his youngest child as well as his wife. I read a few good books about step-parenting. One I would recommend is "The courage to be a step-mom. - How to find your place without losing yourself". It focusses on your needs and your rights and finding the strength to not be sucked into unhealthy relationships between spouses and their children. [/QUOTE]
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