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Parent Emeritus
Still detached with love, and it's great
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 753257" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>ChickPea it's getting cold here too. At first, last night they said 6 inches of snow by Friday. I felt like PTSD set in on me. I was so upset. I worry because it's not just the cold weather its maneuvering a vehicle around the streets when there's no parking because plows are coming down the road etc. It causes me so much stress.</p><p></p><p>I felt in my heart the gym membership would be helpful for his hygiene but then I talked to my therapist and she said I'm just opening myself up again and showing him there's a chance if he keeps looking pitiful and asking for money that I'll help him. That I'll be the one to rescue, fix and save him once again. In the long run this kind of help, I'm told just perpetuates his situation and inability to take care of himself. It is definitely a struggle to break these enabling patterns. They at times feel embedded in my DNA and the line becomes blurred as to what's really right and wrong.</p><p></p><p>I'm told making homeless son(s) (I have 2 <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />) comfortable in their cars allows them to get by. So having them feel the raw consequences of their inability to function and take care of themselves is supposed to be the catalyst to recovery. A real hard pill to swallow for us mothers. I don't know anyone who likes to see another person suffer even if they're doing something stupid. </p><p></p><p>I have a long way to go before truly and deeply within my soul, this becomes something I naturally accept.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 753257, member: 23405"] ChickPea it's getting cold here too. At first, last night they said 6 inches of snow by Friday. I felt like PTSD set in on me. I was so upset. I worry because it's not just the cold weather its maneuvering a vehicle around the streets when there's no parking because plows are coming down the road etc. It causes me so much stress. I felt in my heart the gym membership would be helpful for his hygiene but then I talked to my therapist and she said I'm just opening myself up again and showing him there's a chance if he keeps looking pitiful and asking for money that I'll help him. That I'll be the one to rescue, fix and save him once again. In the long run this kind of help, I'm told just perpetuates his situation and inability to take care of himself. It is definitely a struggle to break these enabling patterns. They at times feel embedded in my DNA and the line becomes blurred as to what's really right and wrong. I'm told making homeless son(s) (I have 2 :() comfortable in their cars allows them to get by. So having them feel the raw consequences of their inability to function and take care of themselves is supposed to be the catalyst to recovery. A real hard pill to swallow for us mothers. I don't know anyone who likes to see another person suffer even if they're doing something stupid. I have a long way to go before truly and deeply within my soul, this becomes something I naturally accept. [/QUOTE]
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