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Parent Emeritus
Still detached with love, and it's great
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 753258" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Here's my opinion on this: if my daughter is doing well and helping herself- doing what she should, either working, going to school, whatever, then I don't mind doing some things to help her. For example, if she is in a good place and her car breaks down I am happy to pay half because she is doing what she needs to do, and this is something that will make her life a bit easier. When she is in a bad space- forget it. If she's not working or going to school, if she's drinking again and running around, if she's not maintaining housing I won't help her financially at all. To me, if your son is living in his car, that's his choice. If he really wants to get housing and have access to a shower he will save his earnings and figure it out. My daughter bounced around for awhile- homeless with a small child- and when she got sick of it she got a decent job, got on housing assistance and found a place to live. I guess I sort of live by the "reap what you sow" motto. If she's really trying to make her life better I don't mind giving her a hand, but if she's not then she's on her own. I feel like helping her when she's working and/or going to school is an investment in her future. Helping her when she's doing nothing is enabling that lifestyle and throwing money into an abyss, it's never ending.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 753258, member: 11235"] Here's my opinion on this: if my daughter is doing well and helping herself- doing what she should, either working, going to school, whatever, then I don't mind doing some things to help her. For example, if she is in a good place and her car breaks down I am happy to pay half because she is doing what she needs to do, and this is something that will make her life a bit easier. When she is in a bad space- forget it. If she's not working or going to school, if she's drinking again and running around, if she's not maintaining housing I won't help her financially at all. To me, if your son is living in his car, that's his choice. If he really wants to get housing and have access to a shower he will save his earnings and figure it out. My daughter bounced around for awhile- homeless with a small child- and when she got sick of it she got a decent job, got on housing assistance and found a place to live. I guess I sort of live by the "reap what you sow" motto. If she's really trying to make her life better I don't mind giving her a hand, but if she's not then she's on her own. I feel like helping her when she's working and/or going to school is an investment in her future. Helping her when she's doing nothing is enabling that lifestyle and throwing money into an abyss, it's never ending. [/QUOTE]
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