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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 754286" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Beta, that is very sad to read. I am sorry you got that response to your kindness and concern.</p><p></p><p>Some years ago my son found himself in Colorado in winter. Not only was he ill prepared for living in a cold climate, he also made a spur of the moment decision to make a long-distance hike at altitude. I could tell he was drinking and not making prudent decisions and begged him not to go, but he belligerently insisted that he and his buddy could handle it. He really had me emotionally on the ropes about the danger he was putting himself in, and I asked him if I could at least send him some winter gear before he left.</p><p></p><p>In a panic I went out and bought a new winter-rated sleeping bag, new parka, "camping" type food,</p><p>etc., then added whatever winter gear I found in storage and shipped it all to him.</p><p></p><p>He never went on the hike. I don't think he was ever serious about doing it. But I'll never forget his response when he picked up the package. Not one word about the new equipment, or the thought that went into it, or the panic he'd caused for no reason. All he said was what a "dumb-@$$" I was for sending him two left-handed gloves.</p><p></p><p>I totally agree with your decision to not contact him for awhile. Regardless of how it affects him, I think the important thing is how it affects you. You don't ever deserve to be verbally battered, abused or belittled. And sadly, I think another lesson in all of this is that most of the time our difficult children just want cold, hard cash, to the point where they actually resent us when we try to show them motherly care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 754286, member: 17720"] Beta, that is very sad to read. I am sorry you got that response to your kindness and concern. Some years ago my son found himself in Colorado in winter. Not only was he ill prepared for living in a cold climate, he also made a spur of the moment decision to make a long-distance hike at altitude. I could tell he was drinking and not making prudent decisions and begged him not to go, but he belligerently insisted that he and his buddy could handle it. He really had me emotionally on the ropes about the danger he was putting himself in, and I asked him if I could at least send him some winter gear before he left. In a panic I went out and bought a new winter-rated sleeping bag, new parka, "camping" type food, etc., then added whatever winter gear I found in storage and shipped it all to him. He never went on the hike. I don't think he was ever serious about doing it. But I'll never forget his response when he picked up the package. Not one word about the new equipment, or the thought that went into it, or the panic he'd caused for no reason. All he said was what a "dumb-@$$" I was for sending him two left-handed gloves. I totally agree with your decision to not contact him for awhile. Regardless of how it affects him, I think the important thing is how it affects you. You don't ever deserve to be verbally battered, abused or belittled. And sadly, I think another lesson in all of this is that most of the time our difficult children just want cold, hard cash, to the point where they actually resent us when we try to show them motherly care. [/QUOTE]
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