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Substance Abuse
Still on the downside of the track, need to vent.
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<blockquote data-quote="SunnyFlorida" data-source="post: 31900" data-attributes="member: 696"><p>Gotta reply back Mikey :smile:</p><p></p><p>#1, sounds like youve got a great therapist. Some of us should be so lucky. I know I tried at least three of them and none of them gave me the answers or guidance that yours has. Lucky you!</p><p>#2, your difficult child sounds like a smart cookie. The alternative school sounds like a place that was able to pique his interest and help him move along. The fact that difficult child is attending and doing well is exceptionally good.</p><p>#3, your difficult child is working and paying for things as well as going to school. That is absolutely fantastic. So fantastic is this, I think you should rename him a easy child/difficult child. Hes got quite a easy child side to him. From reading your posts, it does sound like your easy child/difficult child is using a balancing act of school, work, friends, and family. The family part may not be near the top but its in there. </p><p></p><p>Theres an author named Ross Greene. Hes got a book called The explosive child and I think hes got another book for teens also. He uses collaborative problem solving. Many parents here have found success with the basket system If you havent googled or read it, this might be a great resource for you.</p><p></p><p>I think the basement is a good idea. It's worth a try. in my humble opinion you might think in baby steps though with the outcome being your incentives and consequences when your difficult child has reached 18 and moving beyond.</p><p></p><p>Let's be real here. Yes we know teens need/want privacy. That's a given. easy child teens have secrets, experiement with drugs, sex, etc, want to hang with friends, etc. The difference is that easy child teens can manage their lives. ie: they can balance school, friends, parents, work, etc. difficult child's cannot do this. They are stuck on one avenue with no sidestreets and no exit. It's only when they crash into a wall that they seek another street.</p><p></p><p>If you give difficult child the basement, you should expect that difficult child will test the rules and experiment. By using the basket system, you could define what is most important to you and what you will let slide. </p><p></p><p>One other thing. You might be surprised, difficult childs when they have their privacy become very aware that this is their crib and they dont want anyone else messing up their stuff. They become very protective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SunnyFlorida, post: 31900, member: 696"] Gotta reply back Mikey [img]:smile:[/img] #1, sounds like youve got a great therapist. Some of us should be so lucky. I know I tried at least three of them and none of them gave me the answers or guidance that yours has. Lucky you! #2, your difficult child sounds like a smart cookie. The alternative school sounds like a place that was able to pique his interest and help him move along. The fact that difficult child is attending and doing well is exceptionally good. #3, your difficult child is working and paying for things as well as going to school. That is absolutely fantastic. So fantastic is this, I think you should rename him a easy child/difficult child. Hes got quite a easy child side to him. From reading your posts, it does sound like your easy child/difficult child is using a balancing act of school, work, friends, and family. The family part may not be near the top but its in there. Theres an author named Ross Greene. Hes got a book called The explosive child and I think hes got another book for teens also. He uses collaborative problem solving. Many parents here have found success with the basket system If you havent googled or read it, this might be a great resource for you. I think the basement is a good idea. It's worth a try. in my humble opinion you might think in baby steps though with the outcome being your incentives and consequences when your difficult child has reached 18 and moving beyond. Let's be real here. Yes we know teens need/want privacy. That's a given. easy child teens have secrets, experiement with drugs, sex, etc, want to hang with friends, etc. The difference is that easy child teens can manage their lives. ie: they can balance school, friends, parents, work, etc. difficult child's cannot do this. They are stuck on one avenue with no sidestreets and no exit. It's only when they crash into a wall that they seek another street. If you give difficult child the basement, you should expect that difficult child will test the rules and experiment. By using the basket system, you could define what is most important to you and what you will let slide. One other thing. You might be surprised, difficult childs when they have their privacy become very aware that this is their crib and they dont want anyone else messing up their stuff. They become very protective. [/QUOTE]
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