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Parent Emeritus
Still the fool, got sucked in and spat out!
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653678" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Ouch, Billie. This is going to sound heartless, but the only way to change things is to change your actions and responses. You cannot be in your child's head. You cannot see what she sees, she cannot feel what you feel.</p><p></p><p>Is there a better way to love all that you do have?</p><p></p><p>For the night time worry Billie, the Serenity Prayer will help. It helps me, anyway. I was told by one of the moms here to read it or to repeat it 'til I got it. I did. Something about the healing rhythms of that prayer helped me then and it helps me, now. I will post it for you here, though I am thinking you know it, already.</p><p></p><p>Know that I am posting hoping you will take comfort and feel supported, as I did when it was posted for me. I hope it helps you to feel cherished, and to rest.</p><p></p><p>God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change</p><p>the Courage to change the things I can</p><p>and the Wisdom to know the difference.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm sorry again Billie, but I think one of the most valuable things I have learned here on the site is: "It is what it is." When we finally allow ourselves to see what is happening between ourselves and our people, we can choose to continue with things as they are ~ including resenting that things are not the way we want them and making sacrifices and feeling badly for ourselves and feeling less than ~ or we can change our responses.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>I have to work really hard to accept things as they are, but that is okay. It is worth the battle.</p><p></p><p>There are no other choices, I don't think.</p><p></p><p>You have been courageous in identifying how you feel, Billie.</p><p></p><p>None of this is easy.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think it will never be okay. </p><p></p><p>I don't think we get to choose detachment parenting, Billie. I think we are forced to acknowledge that detachment parenting is the only way to survive what is happening with our children. (In my case, that would be detachment family of origin relationships, too.) </p><p></p><p>If it walks like a duck....</p><p></p><p>For me, I began the process of reclaiming myself through the intention of being kinder to myself. That is all. Just that little thing.</p><p></p><p>So far, so good.</p><p></p><p>Here is a question: When you feel badly about the way things are...whose voice is it you hear?</p><p></p><p>My resolution this year was to identify when I was listening to KFCD, hatred radio station in my head courtesy of rotten negative messages blaring away under the radar.</p><p></p><p>That KFCD thing is from Anne Lamott.</p><p></p><p>Pretty cool, huh?</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653678, member: 17461"] Ouch, Billie. This is going to sound heartless, but the only way to change things is to change your actions and responses. You cannot be in your child's head. You cannot see what she sees, she cannot feel what you feel. Is there a better way to love all that you do have? For the night time worry Billie, the Serenity Prayer will help. It helps me, anyway. I was told by one of the moms here to read it or to repeat it 'til I got it. I did. Something about the healing rhythms of that prayer helped me then and it helps me, now. I will post it for you here, though I am thinking you know it, already. Know that I am posting hoping you will take comfort and feel supported, as I did when it was posted for me. I hope it helps you to feel cherished, and to rest. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. I'm sorry again Billie, but I think one of the most valuable things I have learned here on the site is: "It is what it is." When we finally allow ourselves to see what is happening between ourselves and our people, we can choose to continue with things as they are ~ including resenting that things are not the way we want them and making sacrifices and feeling badly for ourselves and feeling less than ~ or we can change our responses. It is what it is. I have to work really hard to accept things as they are, but that is okay. It is worth the battle. There are no other choices, I don't think. You have been courageous in identifying how you feel, Billie. None of this is easy. I think it will never be okay. I don't think we get to choose detachment parenting, Billie. I think we are forced to acknowledge that detachment parenting is the only way to survive what is happening with our children. (In my case, that would be detachment family of origin relationships, too.) If it walks like a duck.... For me, I began the process of reclaiming myself through the intention of being kinder to myself. That is all. Just that little thing. So far, so good. Here is a question: When you feel badly about the way things are...whose voice is it you hear? My resolution this year was to identify when I was listening to KFCD, hatred radio station in my head courtesy of rotten negative messages blaring away under the radar. That KFCD thing is from Anne Lamott. Pretty cool, huh? :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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