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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 495765" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>So glad for you bunny. You deserve the support and so does difficult child. So typical of any kid to feel jealous especially since he does have that special time. Change is hard. I wonder if you appeal to his natural desire for it to be a pay off for him? Would it work to say something like.....'We are trying to help difficult child with his worries and feelings so he can feel better and happier. Imagine, if he can feel better and control his behaviors better, he might not feel like bothering you as much. You two could become better friends/brothers.'</p><p> Of course if easy child would ever be the kind to SAY that to difficult child in an argument I would not go there, lol. (the only reason dad spent time with you is to make you a better brother to me)....guess it would be a case of really knowing easy child and how to say something like that. </p><p></p><p>My mom used to actually tell us we are a family and sometimes one of you is going to need more attention than the other bu since we are all a team, we just have to pull together and give X extra time right now. Everyone needs that at some time in their lives. The difference is that in difficult child families, it can seem like difficult child is ALWAYS needing that extra attention and time. I ahve a friend who became a counselor specifically to work with sibs because she really felt it was an under-served need. She said her (seemed like a cognitively impaired/bipolar kind of sister) life growing up like that made her strong and compassionate but also left many scars. Lots of friendships were interrupted, lots of social events were ruined, etc. She was really interesting to listen to. ARC has sibshops.... Does NAMI those kinds of things??</p><p></p><p>You really have your hands full, what an attentive and loving mom you are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 495765, member: 12886"] So glad for you bunny. You deserve the support and so does difficult child. So typical of any kid to feel jealous especially since he does have that special time. Change is hard. I wonder if you appeal to his natural desire for it to be a pay off for him? Would it work to say something like.....'We are trying to help difficult child with his worries and feelings so he can feel better and happier. Imagine, if he can feel better and control his behaviors better, he might not feel like bothering you as much. You two could become better friends/brothers.' Of course if easy child would ever be the kind to SAY that to difficult child in an argument I would not go there, lol. (the only reason dad spent time with you is to make you a better brother to me)....guess it would be a case of really knowing easy child and how to say something like that. My mom used to actually tell us we are a family and sometimes one of you is going to need more attention than the other bu since we are all a team, we just have to pull together and give X extra time right now. Everyone needs that at some time in their lives. The difference is that in difficult child families, it can seem like difficult child is ALWAYS needing that extra attention and time. I ahve a friend who became a counselor specifically to work with sibs because she really felt it was an under-served need. She said her (seemed like a cognitively impaired/bipolar kind of sister) life growing up like that made her strong and compassionate but also left many scars. Lots of friendships were interrupted, lots of social events were ruined, etc. She was really interesting to listen to. ARC has sibshops.... Does NAMI those kinds of things?? You really have your hands full, what an attentive and loving mom you are. [/QUOTE]
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