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Stress-busting tips please!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 130198" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Marg,</p><p> </p><p>First of all, she is lucky to have you. Esp as you have not strangled her for "reparenting" difficult child 3. Remind her that if she wants to parent someone, it should be HER child, not yours. Seems to me that making this boundary clear might help everyone. I could be very wrong, but at least difficult child 3 would be less stressed.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe, if she is insistent on "parenting" difficult child 3 due to your "soft" parenting, she can take over some of the other "Mommy" tasks, such as cleaning all the rubbish off the floors, etc.... I totally get the house disorder, we have it too.</p><p> </p><p>For ways to destress does she have a computer or access to one? I am thinking of computer jigsaw puzzles. For that matter, is there somewhere in her and boyfriend's space that she could clean up to do jigsaws?? by the way, what is a puzzlemat???</p><p> </p><p>There is also a computer game called Triazzle that is wonderful. You have a picture (ours is bugs, colorful ones - it came with a kid's book order years ago). Then you have triangle shaped pictures. When you get the picture right, it comes to life. I can spend HOURS on this.</p><p> </p><p>What about soapmaking? I LOVE it. There is a LOT of stirring, very relaxing if you are sitting and the stirrer is long enough you don't have to worry about splashes. You CAN speed that part up by using a stick blender. Then, you can add coarse chopped oats, any scent, whatever you want. The result is a very luxurious bar of soap. With most methods you have to wait 30 days before it is safe to use, but I have a method where after it is ready to "set" you put it into the oven and cook it in there until it is safe to use. IF a batch goes "wrong" you may have to wait 2 weeks, but that is better to a difficult child than a month. It is also easier on the house as you don't have to find a place for the soap to sit for a month undisturbed.</p><p> </p><p>I would encourage almond or macadamia nut oil for massages. Aromatherapy is awesome, esp if she can have a candle SHE makes in her area. </p><p> </p><p>This next may sound totally wasteful and extravagant. Many who LOVE books are horrified by it. I love books, but worked in a used bookstore, so I KNOW that often there are just too many copies of a certain book. As a teen I used to sit on my floor and SHRED books by hand. Depended on what/how I was feeling as to how many I tore up. I tore them into tiny pieces. I used books I got from work (at a used bookstore) that we were going to pitch anyway. Mostly they were old Harlequin romances of which we had boxes and boxes in back from a previous owner. It fed my need to destroy things, with-o hurting anyone. Of course, I was the one who cleaned them up, and I was only allowed to do this in my room. It was very cathartic. Even now, if I feel just a certain way, I will take a book I know has NO trade value or resale value and shred it.</p><p> </p><p>As she is very sensual, I think that making massage oils, testing them, then washing them off might be fun for her. She also might like cooking. I know you do most of your cooking from scratch, but what about letting her cook? Every female on my mom's side of the family (including my Jess) does it when stressed. </p><p> </p><p>She might enjoy making her own spice mixes, cake mixes, etc... I have several very good books on making your own mixes. Not sure the following books cover things sold in the Aussie market, but there is a line of books called Top Secret Recipes. They have things like Reese Cups, Oreos, etc to clones of various restaurant recipes. I have MOST of the books, and the website has a number of the recipes. On the website you pay for each recipe. I can PM you most any of them, if there is a list she wants to try. Or you want to try. My fave is cherry limeade from a burger joint here in the states. It is about 2 oz cherry juice concentrate, about 1 oz lime juice, and the rest lemon-lime soda. Just wonderful on almost any day. The website is <a href="http://www.topsecretrecipes.com" target="_blank">www.topsecretrecipes.com</a></p><p> </p><p>If crafting is up her alley, is there a church with an easter egg hunt coming up? Or other group with one? Sometimes making things for these is very relaxing. One thing I have done for this is to make bunnies from white plastic spoons. Had a friend who's church funds for the easter egg hunt were embezzled. So friend asked me to help, and we did hundreds of these, and other things. The bunnies are just ears cut out of felt and glued on, then faces drawn with sharpies. You do it on the back of hte spoon, and the handle can be stuck into the ground for use during the egg hunt. </p><p> </p><p>What about homemeade playdough? Easy to make, can be scented with whatever she finds relaxing, and can be made into things.</p><p> </p><p>My husband finds blowing things up relaxing. He and thank you like to use the cannisters film comes in, and about 1/4 of a denture cleaning tablet (with cheap brands may need a half). It seems to reset his bad mood.</p><p> </p><p>In the book The-Out-of-Synch-Child-Has-Fun there are a whole LOT of ideas that might help. I firmly believe that our kiddoes, in addition to their other problems, mostly all suffer from some degree of sensory issues. So I use this on the whole family. Not sure where my copy is, but your library should have it. It is by Carol Kranowitz too.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 130198, member: 1233"] Marg, First of all, she is lucky to have you. Esp as you have not strangled her for "reparenting" difficult child 3. Remind her that if she wants to parent someone, it should be HER child, not yours. Seems to me that making this boundary clear might help everyone. I could be very wrong, but at least difficult child 3 would be less stressed. Maybe, if she is insistent on "parenting" difficult child 3 due to your "soft" parenting, she can take over some of the other "Mommy" tasks, such as cleaning all the rubbish off the floors, etc.... I totally get the house disorder, we have it too. For ways to destress does she have a computer or access to one? I am thinking of computer jigsaw puzzles. For that matter, is there somewhere in her and boyfriend's space that she could clean up to do jigsaws?? by the way, what is a puzzlemat??? There is also a computer game called Triazzle that is wonderful. You have a picture (ours is bugs, colorful ones - it came with a kid's book order years ago). Then you have triangle shaped pictures. When you get the picture right, it comes to life. I can spend HOURS on this. What about soapmaking? I LOVE it. There is a LOT of stirring, very relaxing if you are sitting and the stirrer is long enough you don't have to worry about splashes. You CAN speed that part up by using a stick blender. Then, you can add coarse chopped oats, any scent, whatever you want. The result is a very luxurious bar of soap. With most methods you have to wait 30 days before it is safe to use, but I have a method where after it is ready to "set" you put it into the oven and cook it in there until it is safe to use. IF a batch goes "wrong" you may have to wait 2 weeks, but that is better to a difficult child than a month. It is also easier on the house as you don't have to find a place for the soap to sit for a month undisturbed. I would encourage almond or macadamia nut oil for massages. Aromatherapy is awesome, esp if she can have a candle SHE makes in her area. This next may sound totally wasteful and extravagant. Many who LOVE books are horrified by it. I love books, but worked in a used bookstore, so I KNOW that often there are just too many copies of a certain book. As a teen I used to sit on my floor and SHRED books by hand. Depended on what/how I was feeling as to how many I tore up. I tore them into tiny pieces. I used books I got from work (at a used bookstore) that we were going to pitch anyway. Mostly they were old Harlequin romances of which we had boxes and boxes in back from a previous owner. It fed my need to destroy things, with-o hurting anyone. Of course, I was the one who cleaned them up, and I was only allowed to do this in my room. It was very cathartic. Even now, if I feel just a certain way, I will take a book I know has NO trade value or resale value and shred it. As she is very sensual, I think that making massage oils, testing them, then washing them off might be fun for her. She also might like cooking. I know you do most of your cooking from scratch, but what about letting her cook? Every female on my mom's side of the family (including my Jess) does it when stressed. She might enjoy making her own spice mixes, cake mixes, etc... I have several very good books on making your own mixes. Not sure the following books cover things sold in the Aussie market, but there is a line of books called Top Secret Recipes. They have things like Reese Cups, Oreos, etc to clones of various restaurant recipes. I have MOST of the books, and the website has a number of the recipes. On the website you pay for each recipe. I can PM you most any of them, if there is a list she wants to try. Or you want to try. My fave is cherry limeade from a burger joint here in the states. It is about 2 oz cherry juice concentrate, about 1 oz lime juice, and the rest lemon-lime soda. Just wonderful on almost any day. The website is [URL="http://www.topsecretrecipes.com"]www.topsecretrecipes.com[/URL] If crafting is up her alley, is there a church with an easter egg hunt coming up? Or other group with one? Sometimes making things for these is very relaxing. One thing I have done for this is to make bunnies from white plastic spoons. Had a friend who's church funds for the easter egg hunt were embezzled. So friend asked me to help, and we did hundreds of these, and other things. The bunnies are just ears cut out of felt and glued on, then faces drawn with sharpies. You do it on the back of hte spoon, and the handle can be stuck into the ground for use during the egg hunt. What about homemeade playdough? Easy to make, can be scented with whatever she finds relaxing, and can be made into things. My husband finds blowing things up relaxing. He and thank you like to use the cannisters film comes in, and about 1/4 of a denture cleaning tablet (with cheap brands may need a half). It seems to reset his bad mood. In the book The-Out-of-Synch-Child-Has-Fun there are a whole LOT of ideas that might help. I firmly believe that our kiddoes, in addition to their other problems, mostly all suffer from some degree of sensory issues. So I use this on the whole family. Not sure where my copy is, but your library should have it. It is by Carol Kranowitz too. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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