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Strong face yet crumbling inside......
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 86110" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi, Rose. Sorry I'm coming to this late.</p><p></p><p>I think you've been doing well with him so far, but there is a lot more you could do that you just haven't been told about.</p><p></p><p>Advice so far here - spot on. Don't be complacent about anything the school assessment tells you, it's not in their interests to find anything wrong that would require them to do something, or spend more money. Only if it's REALLY obvious, or a major problem, or the kid is failing badly in everything - it takes that for some school psychologists to do anything. The teachers could be tearing their hair out, but the person who assesses often sees the kid one-to-one, and under these circumstances you've already said he's fine, he can pay attention. So I'm not surprised the school psychiatric said he hasn't got ADHD.</p><p></p><p>The "lying" - he's lying to get out of t rouble. I think he probably has more anxiety than most kids, perhaps because it's much harder for him to stay on task and not be impulsive. But lying by saying, "I didn't do it," or "I can't remember" is not a complex lie. REAL lying is when they invent something entirely, make up an alternate reality and try to sell it to you. It doesn't sound like he does that. In fact, it sounds like he's so bad at lying that he always gets found out. Tell him this - it's better to tell the truth from the start, than to try to lie and make a mess of it. And he can't lie without getting caught, so he'd better get into the habit of not even starting to try to lie. He will find he does much better. This will need you to help him practice telling the whole truth, but really praise him when he does. He needs it as positive reinforcement.</p><p></p><p>I think a lot more possibilities need to be considered. Which subjects is he failing? I'm betting they're less concrete subjects, ones which you have to understand in a more abstract way. </p><p></p><p>Here are some resources:</p><p></p><p>"The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, Many people on this site love this book, it really helps get inside the kid's mind and get a handle on WHY they do what they do. Some people here don't like this book, it just doesn't work for them. But I think they are in the minority. So give it a go - get it out of the library if you're not sure about spending money just yet. And he doesn't have to be 'explosive' for the book to help.</p><p></p><p>Another suggestion - go to <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">http://www.childbrain.com</a> and do their online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test. It's not officially diagnostic, it's just something to give you a sense of direction. Whatever the result (even if it is "no Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)") then print the results and take them to the next health professional/expert he sees. I'm betting that just doing the test will give you a few things to think about.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, stick around, we can help.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 86110, member: 1991"] Hi, Rose. Sorry I'm coming to this late. I think you've been doing well with him so far, but there is a lot more you could do that you just haven't been told about. Advice so far here - spot on. Don't be complacent about anything the school assessment tells you, it's not in their interests to find anything wrong that would require them to do something, or spend more money. Only if it's REALLY obvious, or a major problem, or the kid is failing badly in everything - it takes that for some school psychologists to do anything. The teachers could be tearing their hair out, but the person who assesses often sees the kid one-to-one, and under these circumstances you've already said he's fine, he can pay attention. So I'm not surprised the school psychiatric said he hasn't got ADHD. The "lying" - he's lying to get out of t rouble. I think he probably has more anxiety than most kids, perhaps because it's much harder for him to stay on task and not be impulsive. But lying by saying, "I didn't do it," or "I can't remember" is not a complex lie. REAL lying is when they invent something entirely, make up an alternate reality and try to sell it to you. It doesn't sound like he does that. In fact, it sounds like he's so bad at lying that he always gets found out. Tell him this - it's better to tell the truth from the start, than to try to lie and make a mess of it. And he can't lie without getting caught, so he'd better get into the habit of not even starting to try to lie. He will find he does much better. This will need you to help him practice telling the whole truth, but really praise him when he does. He needs it as positive reinforcement. I think a lot more possibilities need to be considered. Which subjects is he failing? I'm betting they're less concrete subjects, ones which you have to understand in a more abstract way. Here are some resources: "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, Many people on this site love this book, it really helps get inside the kid's mind and get a handle on WHY they do what they do. Some people here don't like this book, it just doesn't work for them. But I think they are in the minority. So give it a go - get it out of the library if you're not sure about spending money just yet. And he doesn't have to be 'explosive' for the book to help. Another suggestion - go to [url="http://www.childbrain.com"]http://www.childbrain.com[/url] and do their online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test. It's not officially diagnostic, it's just something to give you a sense of direction. Whatever the result (even if it is "no Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)") then print the results and take them to the next health professional/expert he sees. I'm betting that just doing the test will give you a few things to think about. Good luck, stick around, we can help. Marg [/QUOTE]
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