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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 655022" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome to the forum Struggling Mom. I'm glad you found us but sorry you had to.</p><p></p><p>I also have a 33 year old son who is basically homeless. He manages to couch surf but has yet to hold down a job or do anything productive with his life. He likes his alcohol and pot and I'm sure there are other drugs too.</p><p></p><p>We have all been where you are. It is such painful thing for a parent to go through and other parents who have not lived this have no idea what it's like. This forum is full of people who know what's it like, the ups and downs, sleepless nights, worrying, wondering, crying, anger, fear, anxiety, etc.....</p><p></p><p>RE gave some good advice about reading the article on detachment. It really helps.</p><p></p><p>As much as you love your son you have to understand that you have no control over the choices he makes. There is no amount of "help" you can offer him that will make everything ok.</p><p></p><p>Oh that mothers guilt. Something about being a mother, the innate way we nurture and try to make everything ok for our children and when it's not that darn guilt sneaks in and consumes us. The thing is, we as mothers do try and make everything ok for our children, we do the very best we can for them and with that, we have nothing to feel guilty about.</p><p></p><p>I by no means was a perfect parent and no such person exists. We have all done the best we can and we have made mistakes and when we made mistakes no one swooped in to save us. It's the same with our children. Once they become adults and make poor choices and mistakes we must fight the urge to swoop in and save them.</p><p></p><p>One of the best things you can do is to take your life back. Start with little things. Find something you enjoy doing and do it.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here and reading other posts. We are all here for each other.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 655022, member: 18516"] Welcome to the forum Struggling Mom. I'm glad you found us but sorry you had to. I also have a 33 year old son who is basically homeless. He manages to couch surf but has yet to hold down a job or do anything productive with his life. He likes his alcohol and pot and I'm sure there are other drugs too. We have all been where you are. It is such painful thing for a parent to go through and other parents who have not lived this have no idea what it's like. This forum is full of people who know what's it like, the ups and downs, sleepless nights, worrying, wondering, crying, anger, fear, anxiety, etc..... RE gave some good advice about reading the article on detachment. It really helps. As much as you love your son you have to understand that you have no control over the choices he makes. There is no amount of "help" you can offer him that will make everything ok. Oh that mothers guilt. Something about being a mother, the innate way we nurture and try to make everything ok for our children and when it's not that darn guilt sneaks in and consumes us. The thing is, we as mothers do try and make everything ok for our children, we do the very best we can for them and with that, we have nothing to feel guilty about. I by no means was a perfect parent and no such person exists. We have all done the best we can and we have made mistakes and when we made mistakes no one swooped in to save us. It's the same with our children. Once they become adults and make poor choices and mistakes we must fight the urge to swoop in and save them. One of the best things you can do is to take your life back. Start with little things. Find something you enjoy doing and do it. Keep posting here and reading other posts. We are all here for each other. Hang in there. :staystrong::group-hug: [/QUOTE]
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