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Struggling to do the right thing
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 750090" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am ready for sleep, but saw this and had to respond.</p><p></p><p> Does your son lie? This story he tells is not believable at all to me. If somebody was starting trouble with somebody else, the aggressor is who i think would be asked to leave. My guess, judging by my own daughter's tall tales, is that if your son was kicked out, and this is assuming it really happened, HE probably did something against the rules. Maybe he mouthed off or came in high. Who knows?</p><p></p><p>At any rate, at age 30 your son could call the police himself if it happened and he is old enough to figure out what to do without your help like GET A JOB. He is able bodied. He can at least flip burgers. My daughter won't and it drives me nuts and I will no longer help her financially. She certainly has money for pot and cigarettes.</p><p></p><p> I believe there are other places he can get food if he can't go there. My daughter made up all kinds of stories and I tried to believe them until I couldn't anymore. I'm not saying your son is lying. I am saying it sounds far fetched to me. I am telling you to maybe ponder, based on knowing your son, if his sad story is probably true or not true.</p><p></p><p>You seem to feel very guilty that he lives in a car. Many homeless people don't even have a car. But I know how guilty we all feel although they cause their hardships. I am finally able to see my daughter with clarity. I no longer get involved in her life, but I am in my 60s and it took me a long time to realize that she needs to learn to find her own solutions. Her father and I both have health issues, and one day Kay will need to do her life without us. May as well practice. Yes, it's hard, but we are done.</p><p></p><p>I feel your exhaustion, pain, and fear. I hope you can one day find peace. It is hard to stop thinking of them as little ones. I see the little girl Kay when I am pitying her. I get it. It is scary to think about their lives after we are no longer here. But it will happen. In our case, we feel that if we don't let go and give our girl to God, our lives may end a lot earlier than we anticipate. Stress is not a good thing for an aging body. They are young and can handle stress better.</p><p></p><p>Does your son drink or use drugs that you know of? If not what is his excuse for not working and being homeless? Usually it seems to be drugs, at least heavy pot use.</p><p></p><p>Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 750090, member: 23706"] I am ready for sleep, but saw this and had to respond. Does your son lie? This story he tells is not believable at all to me. If somebody was starting trouble with somebody else, the aggressor is who i think would be asked to leave. My guess, judging by my own daughter's tall tales, is that if your son was kicked out, and this is assuming it really happened, HE probably did something against the rules. Maybe he mouthed off or came in high. Who knows? At any rate, at age 30 your son could call the police himself if it happened and he is old enough to figure out what to do without your help like GET A JOB. He is able bodied. He can at least flip burgers. My daughter won't and it drives me nuts and I will no longer help her financially. She certainly has money for pot and cigarettes. I believe there are other places he can get food if he can't go there. My daughter made up all kinds of stories and I tried to believe them until I couldn't anymore. I'm not saying your son is lying. I am saying it sounds far fetched to me. I am telling you to maybe ponder, based on knowing your son, if his sad story is probably true or not true. You seem to feel very guilty that he lives in a car. Many homeless people don't even have a car. But I know how guilty we all feel although they cause their hardships. I am finally able to see my daughter with clarity. I no longer get involved in her life, but I am in my 60s and it took me a long time to realize that she needs to learn to find her own solutions. Her father and I both have health issues, and one day Kay will need to do her life without us. May as well practice. Yes, it's hard, but we are done. I feel your exhaustion, pain, and fear. I hope you can one day find peace. It is hard to stop thinking of them as little ones. I see the little girl Kay when I am pitying her. I get it. It is scary to think about their lives after we are no longer here. But it will happen. In our case, we feel that if we don't let go and give our girl to God, our lives may end a lot earlier than we anticipate. Stress is not a good thing for an aging body. They are young and can handle stress better. Does your son drink or use drugs that you know of? If not what is his excuse for not working and being homeless? Usually it seems to be drugs, at least heavy pot use. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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